


Lost Souls, Kindred Spirits

by FlightlessAngelWings



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Action, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, But I got impatient, Canon Compliant, Drama, Drama & Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Language, Mutual Pining, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Bucky Barnes, Smut, This was going to be a slow burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-07-04 09:31:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 36,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15838500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlightlessAngelWings/pseuds/FlightlessAngelWings
Summary: After the events of Winter Soldier, Bucky finds himself in New York to try to jog his memory where he runs into the reader. After saving her from being assaulted, they both feel an instant connection and she decides to help him out, and their relationship grows from there. Maybe it was fate that drew them together, but a lost soul always recognizes a lost soul.(Updates on Fridays)(Smut is chapter 7 and 10)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy! :)

They say if you don’t know where to go next, start with what you know. Right now, Bucky only knew a few things, and one of them was New York. After everything that happened in DC, Bucky made his way up to the city in hopes that something there would jog his memory. He felt so lost and alone, with no past, no present and no future.

This New York was completely different from the New York he once knew. Bucky took in all the colors and bustle and commotion from underneath his hoodie as he walked down the busy streets. As much as he tried to remember where his old neighborhood was, he just came up blank. After a while, he just let himself wander aimlessly throughout the city with no particular destination in mind. 

Bucky tucked himself into his hoodie as he turned another corner into a quitter area. He couldn’t handle being around all those people right now in his state of mind. Whether it was because of all the noise surrounding him or just seeing people happy with each other, the whole vibe of the city was too overwhelming for him right now. Who would have thought that even when surrounded by so many people, someone could feel so alone? Part of him wished he would have stayed with Steve; he had a gut feeling that he would help him so matter what. But he couldn’t put that burden on him like that. He had to figure things out for himself.

The quiet felt so much better, so much more calming. It gave him a few minutes to try to gather his thoughts as he continued to make his way down the street. He figured he must be in a more residential area, since most of the buildings looked like apartments. This felt more familiar to him, the brick buildings with the metal staircases, some with laundry handing off the balcony. Maybe Bucky would find something around here…

Just as he had that thought, a scream pulled Bucky out of his head. He tensed up as he looked around for the source. He wasn’t totally sure why, but he just had this feeling that he needed to help whoever it was. Something was drawing him to do something and not ignore it like the few people around him were.

Bucky picked up his pace as he rounded the corner. There, he saw two large men grabbing and pulling a young woman.

“Let me go assholes!” you shouted at them as they twisted your arm and pulled you down an alley.

The two men said nothing, only smiled darkly at you. You tried to wriggle your way free, tried to hit them, elbow them, headbutt them, something to break their grip. But nothing worked. They dragged you down the dark alley as you continued to scream. You just hoped someone in this forsaken city would actually do something.

“Please let me go!!” you pleaded desperately, even though you knew your words wouldn’t have any effect on these two guys, you were running out of options.

“Shut up, bitch!” one of them spat back at you as he raised his arm to smack you.

You closed your eyes tight and braced yourself for the pain.

But it never came.

Instead, you heard your assailant cry out in pain. Confused, you opened your eyes only to see a man with shoulder length brown hair grabbing his wrist in the air. Your rescuer twisted his arm and brought it down behind his back before throwing him against the brick wall. He then pulled the second man by the shoulder and punched him right in the face, causing him to let you go before falling down to the ground.

“What the fuck?!” he shouted as he fell.

The second you were free from that man’s grip, you shuffled yourself back against the wall and watched in awe of the strength of your rescuer. Both men stumbled back to their feet and charged back at the mysterious man only to be knocked down again. Whoever this guy was had no problem taking on two tough guys on his own. 

“Fuck you!!! You’ll pay for that, asshole!!” the other man shouted as he tried in vain to land a single punch on the brunette.

He never said a single word, just kept blocking and countering their attacks with ease until they gave up and ran away. During their fight, you backed away a bit and positioned yourself so you were behind the man who came to your aid. When they finally ran away, you let out a deep breath and dropped your shoulders; you didn’t even realize you had held them up, perhaps trying to look for intimidating.

The man in front of you watched your assailants run from him, and didn’t move until they were out of his line of sight. Once they were gone, he glanced over his shoulder at you. He had a hard, unreadable expression in his face and his fists remained clenched at his side. That was until he made eye contact with you. Once you locked eyes, his relaxed. You remained tense and frozen in your spot, not quite sure that to do next. Sure, he just beat up two guys for you, but you still weren’t ready to let your guard down yet. But as you looked into his eyes, there was something there that drew you in.

He looked you over for a few moments before he turned and walked away. As you watched him leave, you finally relaxed and gathered your thoughts. After quickly going over your options in your head, you decided to call after him.

“Hey!” you shouted as you jogged to catch up with him. He got pretty far in a short amount of time, man this guy is fast. You saw him slow down, but he still didn’t stop. “Hey!” you called to him again as you caught up with him. You darted in front to him to look at him face to face. That made him stop in his tracks. 

For the second time, you both found yourself looking into each other’s eyes. It felt like you were both looking for something more behind your gazes. As you looked, you felt like there was a sadness about him. Maybe you were just imaging it, but you felt like you two had some sort of connection, like you were drawn to each other or like you were destined to meet.

“Thank you,” you finally said with a soft smile after a few moments of silence, “I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t come along.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, despite it not being cold out. Just the mere thought chilled you to your core.

“No problem,” he replied, speaking for the first time. He shifted his stance, ready to start walking again but didn’t make a move to walk away just yet. Bucky just wanted to get back to figuring himself out. He didn’t want to get involved with anyone; he knew that only got people hurt. Though he couldn’t deny there was something about you that made him want to stay, he didn’t want to risk anything.

“What’s your name?” you asked, trying to keep a conversation going. 

He paused for a moment; what was that name again? His name was one of the few things he could remember, but it still didn’t come naturally to him quiet yet. “Bucky,” he spoke softly.

You gave him your name and extended your hand, “Nice to meet you Bucky.”

Bucky looked down at your hand before taking it. How different a friendly greeting felt. Different, but it felt good. It felt good to be treated with kindness after so long. You smiled at him and he felt like his whole world brightened up. There was no denying there was a connection there.

“Can I get you a cup of coffee or lunch or something? There’s a diner a few blocks away that’s pretty decent,” Normally you wouldn’t be so eager to go anywhere with a stranger, but you figured a public diner at lunchtime is safe enough. 

“Oh… no, no that… that’s ok. I can’t put you out like that.” Bucky had to admit to himself it had been awhile since he had a decent meal, but he couldn’t ask anything from someone he just met.

“It’s no trouble, really. It’s the least I can do to thank you.” You were surprised how soft his voice was. You didn’t expect someone so built and so strong to act that soft. You tucked your hair behind your ear as you took a moment to really look at him. Even with a dark sweatshirt, you could tell he was all muscle. His brown hair came down to his shoulders and a scruff beard shaped his face well. He was definitely a handsome man for sure. You found yourself wondering what he did for a living and what he was like, and hoped that he would take you up on your offer so you could talk to him more and get to know him. He seemed quiet, but maybe if you got on the right subject you think you could get him talking more.

“Ok,” Bucky said with a smile.

You returned his smile, “Great! Let go!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A friendly lunch date where reader and Bucky get to know each other, and we find out more about the reader's backstory.

“How’s your burger?” you asked Bucky.

“It’s good,” he replied.

You threw him a sympathetic smile, “I know it’s not the greatest place, but I’ve been coming here for awhile so it’s comforting. Plus, it’s cheap.”

He softened his expression, trying to not be offensive, “No really, it’s fine. Thank you again for this.”

“No problem! I guess it doesn’t totally make us even, but it’s the least I can do.”

You both continued to pick at the plates of food in front of you in silence for a few minutes. Normally you hate sitting in silence around someone new, but this felt comfortable for some reason. It was later in the afternoon, so past the lunch rush, which meant the diner was a little quieter than usual.

“So,” you started, “What brings you to New York?”

Bucky dropped his gaze down to the table as he tried to think of an answer. “I…” he started in a whispered voice, “I grew up here.”

“Oh, so you’re from here? Coming back home, yeah?” You weren’t sure why, but you had a feeling like this man across from you had quite a story to tell, and curiosity started to get a hold of you.

“Something like that,” Bucky looked back up at you.

“Well, if you need directions or anything, I can try and help you out. I’m not from here but I’ve been around the city since I was a teenager. What neighborhood you looking for?”

He paused for a minute. He knew there was a word that stuck out in his mind, he just needed to remember what it was…. “Brooklyn.”

“I’m not as familiar with that area, but I can do my best,” you said with a smile.

“Oh no, no you don’t have to do that. I’ve put you out enough already,” Bucky objected.

“You haven’t put me out at all,” you retorted, “Buying you one meal won’t break my bank account.” You took a sip of you water before adding, “Besides, it’s nice to have someone to talk to.”

Bucky looked surprised at that. “You on your own?”

You sighed, “Yep. Both my parents are gone, and living in this city ain’t cheap, so I spend a lot of time at work just to survive. I don’t really spend much social time outside of the girls I work with. Besides, I’m usually really beat after work, I don’t have the energy to go out a lot.”

At your confession, Bucky found himself just as curious about you as you were about him. How could someone so beautiful be all alone? “What happened? With your parents I mean?” The question came out before he even thought about it.

It was your turn to look down, and Bucky could see the pain in your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he raised his hands up in a surrendering motion, “I didn’t mean…”

“It’s ok,” You looked back at him, “I don’t mind talking about it. It’s been years.”

Bucky shot you a sympathetic look. He never meant to cause you any pain, even in the smallest amount.

“Really,” you reassured him as you reached across the table to put you hand on top of his, “That’s how conversations work, right? You share something, then I share something, and we go ‘round and ‘round.”

A thought popped into his head as he met your eyes: were you two becoming friends? He knew it was dangerous to let anyone in; there were things he could remember and none of it was good. But at the same time, he had to admit to himself that a friend in this world was a very nice thought. He said nothing to that, only nodded to let you continue.

“My parents came to this country in search of a better life. I was just a little kid when we came over. We ended up in Florida, but my dad always talked about how much he wanted to see New York. I know its super cliché, but he truly thought that this was the place where dreams came true. Where you’re supposed to live your best life, or something like that,” you smiled to yourself as you thought about your father. You continued, “He got a job in a factory. He worked his ass off trying to save enough money to move. But…” You trailed off.

Bucky watched you tell your story with a sympathetic gaze. Instinctively, he reached his right hand out to you much like how you did for him. You raised your eyes to meet his and took in a deep breath before you continued.

“There was an accident one day and…” you didn’t have it in you to finish the sentence out loud.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky whispered as he stroked his thumb across the top of your hand to soothe you.

“It was a long time ago,” you sighed as you wiped away a tear with your free hand. The memory never really healed, but it became easier to handle over time. You weren’t sure why you were getting so emotional about it again. Maybe you felt safe enough in front of this man to let your feelings flow freely.

Bucky could tell that you were putting up a strong front, only to hide a lot of pain. It was a feeling he knew all too well. “So, you came here to honor your father then?” He hoped his assumption wouldn’t upset you more.

But you understood the meaning behind what Bucky said to you. In his way, he was sympathizing and trying to connect with you. “Yeah,” you exhaled, “Mom moved us here and found work where she could. Once I was old enough, I worked odd jobs too.”

Bucky leaned in as he listened to your story.

“Mom and I weren’t as close, but she was still family. She was all I had when we moved here,” your voice trailed off as you lost yourself in thought.

“Was?” Bucky asked, his voice low.

You sighed heavily, “Yeah,” you looked down at the table, tracing imaginary shapes in your mind to try and keep yourself calm, “I lost her too. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time late at night and…”

“I’m so sorry,” the look in Bucky’s face was genuine as he squeezed your hand tighter.

You looked up to meet his eyes and instantly felt comforted by the sincerity you found there, “It’s New York, what can you say?” You tried to brush it off so you wouldn’t linger on the thought, “I was 17 then. I’ve been on my own since. I made my own way, been able to get by in the city on my own.”

Your story sounded almost familiar: alone in New York, both parents gone, making your own way at a young age. Then it clicked in his head. You reminded him of Steven Rogers so much. Maybe that is what draw him to you, at least partly. Figures in this huge city he’d run into a person who reminded him of his best friend back in the day. The familiarity felt nice to Bucky.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky repeated, “I didn’t mean to make you talk about something like that. I know it must be hard for you.”

You wiped another tear from your eye and took a deep breath, “It’s fine. It actually kind of felt good to talk about again, oddly enough,” you chucked at the thought, “It’s been awhile since I talked about my parents or my past, it’s like I’m keeping them alive through memory by talking about them again. That sounds weird doesn’t it?”

“I’ve heard weirder,” Bucky smiled. And what a beautiful smile it was. This was the first time you saw a true smile from him, and once you saw it, you wanted to see it more.

“Indulge me then?” you set your elbow on the table and rested your head in your hand, ready to listen to this beautiful, mysterious man talk about absolutely anything.

Bucky did not want to get your involved in his mess, but he couldn’t deny your request. He chose his next words carefully, “I… I lost most of my memories,” he confessed.

Your expression changed, “What?”

“I don’t remember much,” he replied shyly, unsure how you would react.

“So that’s why you came to New York,” you put the pieces together, “You came home, back to what you know to try and jog your memory.”

Your unjudgmental understand took him off guard. He wasn’t used to any form of kindness, let alone from a beautiful woman like you. “Yeah,” he breathed out.

“Well,” you straightened your posture, “You need my help more than I needed yours then!” you said enthusiastically.

He shot you a quizzical look.

“Oh, come on, how would I not help you now?” you rubbed your hands together like you were getting ready for something to happen, “Besides you need someone who knows how the streets of New York are now. I don’t know how long you’ve been gone, but this city changed a lot lately. Come on, let me help you,” you pleaded.

Bucky was taken aback by your unquestioning urge to help him. But one look at your eyes told him you weren’t taking no for an answer, not that he could say no to you at this point anyway. He leveled his expression as he exhaled sharply, “Ok.”

You two spent the next few hours talking about trivial things. You caught him up on pop culture and news from the past few years, not knowing how far back his amnesia went. You told him about your favorite trends, important events, new music, pretty much anything you could think of. He listened to you with all his attention, taking in everything you were telling him. If he was honest with himself, he couldn’t care less about your words, he just wanted to hear you talk with that brightness in your eyes. He studied your features and picked up on your facial cues as you continued to talk. He took the time to memorize every feature and detail of your faces, from the subtle dimples in your cheek to the way you fiddle with your fingers when you get nervous.

Time seemed to fly by, and the sun started to go down as you continued to talk in your diner booth. You glanced over at the time with a scowl.

“Dammit, I gotta go. Work,” you said as you started to gather yourself.

Bucky frowned. He found himself not wanting to let you go.

You grabbed some cash from your bag and set it on the table, leaving an extra tip for the waitress for staying so long. You scoot your way to the end of the booth, your legs sore from sitting still for so long. As you stood, you turned to Bucky who was also getting up. “You free tomorrow around noon? There’s a great place in central park with a little pond and lots of hills. I go there when I need some quiet time away from the noise of the city. I can bring my laptop and help you figure things out.”

Bucky stood up and smiled down at you, “Sounds great.”

You extended your hand and he took it. “It’s a deal then,” you said with a smile. “See you tomorrow!”

Bucky watched you leave and eagerly looked forward to seeing you again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for reading so far! I'm gonna try to make Friday evening my update day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can Bucky meet up the next day, and you both find out hidden truths abut each other.

Bucky paced around the park nervously. Why was he meeting her again? Sure, he wanted to, but he should know better. He should know better than to get someone involved in his life. He should be on the run, keeping to himself, staying under the radar. He should have moved on from the city by now. But he just couldn’t bring himself to stay away from you.

So many times, he actually picked himself up and started to walk away, only to feel guilty at the thought of you waiting all day for him. So, he came back and sat down by a large rock and waited for you, ignoring every instinct in him screaming for him to leave.

He looked over at a big clock near a food stand. Still a half hour until you would show up. His eyes drifted over to the food stand and he found himself wondering what type of foods were your favorite. Did you prefer sweet? Spicy? Salty? Bucky took in all the smells coming from the stand, hot dogs, cotton candy, pretzels. He decided to use the rest of his time waiting to go pick out something for you.

A half hour came and went, and Bucky saw no sign of you. He scanned the crowd over and over looking for your face. Another ten minutes went by and he started to get worried. Was he found out so fast? Did something happen? So many questions raced through Bucky’s mind as he continued to search the crowd.

And then he saw you.

You had your usual bag over your shoulder and you appeared to be holding another bag in your hand. Even from a distance, Bucky could see you looked tired. You looked up and made eye contact with him and smiled brightly. The sun was high in the sky, but still did not shine more radiantly than your face. You waved at him as you made you way over.

“Hey, sorry I’m a little late, busy night at work and I overslept a bit,” you sounded out of breath as you ran over to the park as fast as you could as soon as you finally shut your alarm off. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long.”

“No, it’s fine,” Bucky gave you a slight smile as the two of you sat down next to each other.

“That’s good,” you pulled you bag off your shoulder and reached for the smaller one in your hand, “I got us pretzels. I wasn’t sure what you liked so I went with something safe. Pretty much everyone likes pretzels” you pulled them out of the bag.

Bucky looked wide eyed at the pretzels and then reached in his bag, “I was thinking the same thing,” he pulled out two pretzels.

Both of you let out a hearty laugh. Bucky couldn’t remember the last time he laughed. He didn’t remember the last time he had a reason to. It felt good for him, and in his mind he thanked you for it.

“I guess great minds think alike,” you said.

Bucky only smiled at you in response.

“Hey, that’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh,” and what a smile, you thought to yourself, “it suites you.”

“You too,” Bucky replied as he took in your features in the sunlight.

“Well thank you, Bucky,” your tone was playful as you blushed slightly.

You two fell into a comfortable silence as you ate your pretzels and watched the crowd: children running with balloons, couples walking by holding hands, someone painting the sky, a few people with laptops writing. Between the people watching, you both stole quick glances at the other than you weren’t looking.

Once you finished your pretzels, you reached for the bag you had over your shoulder. “I brought my laptop today to try and help you find out about yourself.”

Bucky watched you in silence as you opened and turned on your computer.

“So, Bucky… there a last name to go with that?”

He paused for a moment, “Barnes.”

“Ok, now I can try to find something on you. You have a Facebook or Twitter or something?”

“What?”

“You know? Facebook?” you opened your browser and brought up your page to show him. Your profile had some selfies you took, nature photos, food photos, and your profile picture was you holding a big black cat, “That’s my coworker’s cat. He a big baby, I love him so much,” you chucked.

Bucky’s face went blank. He had no idea about any of this. Technology, he knew, but nothing like this. But he couldn’t let you know that.

“So, no Facebook?”

He shook his head.

“Twitter?”

He shook his head again.

“Instagram?”

Bucky shrugged.

“Do you even know what any of those are?” you finally asked.

A heavy sigh escaped his lips, “No,” Bucky confessed.

“Wow, totally off the grid I see. That may make it harder to find you, but there’s always Google.”

Bucky said nothing and watched you type on your computer. You typed in his full name and to your surprise, the first thing that came up as a link to the Captain America exhibit. Confused but intrigued, you clicked the link and skimmed through a short article on Steve Rogers’ story about how he became the first superhero and how he fought in the war along with his group called “the howling commandos.” One name on that list stuck out to you: James “Bucky” Barnes.

“Bucky…?” you turned to him and showed him the image on your screen: an old photo of him from World War 2, “Is… Is this you?”

He furrowed his brows. _No, she can’t get involved anymore. She can’t know_. He said nothing as he stood and started to walk away. _I’m sorry. It’s for the best,_ he thought to himself as he tried to leave.

But you weren’t going to let him go that easily. “Hey!!” You shouted as you grabbed your bag and laptop and quickly went after him. He may be fast, but you got good at weaving through crowds after living in a big city for so long. You were able to catch up with him in no time.

You stood in front of him and held your hand to his chest, “Don’t run away from me,” you were a little out of breath from moving so quickly, “That is you in that picture isn’t it?”

Bucky sighed at he dropped his gaze to the ground. There was no use denying you, even only knowing you for a short time, he could tell you were stubborn and wouldn’t be satisfied until he answered you, “Yeah.”

Your eyes widened. How? How was that possible?

“Listen, forget you knew me, ok?” Bucky tried to back away from you, but you grabbed his right hand to stop him.

“Why?” you were scared and unsure, but you couldn’t even image how Bucky must be feeling. To be all alone in a world that he knows nothing about must be terrifying.

“Just,” he tensed up at your touch, and was grateful you didn’t grab his other hand or else there would be more questions that he did not want asked, “Trust me, it’s better that way.”

“Isn’t it hard to be all alone?” your voice was a plea.

Bucky let out a deep breath as he looked up from the ground into your eyes. He found a sadness there that he did not expect. It made his heart skip a beat to think that you cared for him even a little.

“Just listen to me ok? Our circumstances may be different, but I know what it’s like to be alone. I’ve lost both my parents and I spent all my time working to I don’t really have anyone I’m close with. Even in this huge city surrounded by people, I always feel alone. So, let me help you not be alone. Because I know how much it sucks,” you squeezed his hand, “So don’t run away from me.”

He relaxed his posture. You were right, it does suck to be alone, but he does it for the good of everyone around him.

Your voice cut him out of his thoughts, “How about I tell you a secret of mine?”

Bucky looked confused.

“To even us out. You tell me something, I tell you something, remember?”

“Ok,” he finally let himself relax a bit more.

“You know what I do for work, Bucky? I’m a stripper,” now it was your turn to be nervous, “It’s not what I imagined I’d be doing with my life, but I’m not ashamed of it. I make better money that way. I just don’t like to tell people because either they immediately want something from me, like ex-boyfriends have, or they judge me, like ex-girlfriends have. And it’s just easier to keep to myself that way,” you fidgeted with your hands as you spoke. Clearly you had made this confession before and it did not go so well.

That was a confession Bucky did not see coming, but to him it was all trivial. You were you and that was all that mattered to him. He looked into your eyes and saw the sincerity and vulnerability there. “I would never judge you like that,” his voice was soft. Maybe being around you wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. At the very least, he felt like you both understood each other.

You smiled up at him, “Thank you Bucky.”

He smiled back at you, but then his face dropped, “How come you’re so ok with this? I mean so ok with me?”

In your head, your answer was that you felt something there with him, like a connection or something. But you weren’t ready to say that out loud yet. “Well when you live through things like aliens invading, a guy who wears iron armor battle suits, a guy who flies around the city like a spider, you kinda just start to roll with things,” you shrugged.

You looked up at Bucky and laughed, causing him to laugh too.

“Come on, there’s lots of new foods I’ve got to introduce you to!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was a little self indulgent and gave my cat a cameo. The plot is going to pick up more from here after these couple of intro chapters. Thanks for reading so far and for the kudos!


	4. Chapter 4

Over the weeks, you and Bucky fell into somewhat of a routine. You two would meet for lunch, try a new restaurant every day, then you would go somewhere to help him catch up on the times. Some days, you’d find a museum to go to, other days you two would spend time at a park or coffee shop and just talk about whatever came into either of your heads.

“Can I ask you something?” you asked Bucky. Today you were settled in a cute little coffee shop.

“What is it?” he put down his coffee cup to give you his full attention.

“How come you don’t go to Captain America for help or anything?” the question was on your mind for a while, but you felt too awkward to bring it up. But now that you got to know each other better, you felt more comfortable asking him.

Bucky shrugged, “A lots happened… A lot changed…” He shifted in his seat and dropped his gaze to stare into his coffee cup.

You gave him a sympathetic gaze, “hey, I’m sorry I brought it up. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. And it’s not like I haven’t enjoyed your company the past few weeks…” you paused, “I was just curious that’s all.”

You reached out to try to take Bucky’s left hand that was resting on the table, but he pulled away before you could touch it. You looked at him confused and hurt, “What’s wrong?”

Bucky couldn’t think of what to say. He sunk back into his chair and cradled his metal arm. It killed him to see that hurt expression on your face, but he couldn’t let you know. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Do you not like to be touched on that arm?” you asked

Bucky bit his lip and nodded.

You cursed to yourself, “I’m sorry. I… I didn’t mean to…”

“No, I’m sorry,” Bucky but you off and took a step back towards you. He took your hand in his right hand without hesitation, “That makes us even then,” he smiled at you, “And can hold his hand all you want.”

You looked up at him and burst into laughter, “Look at you picking up my speech pattern. But, yes I guess we are even then.”

Bucky smiled genuinely at you.

***

“Come on Bucky!” you practically skipped ahead of him. When you met up for the day, you told Bucky you had something special planned for him today and quickly led him to a subway station.

“I’m coming! I’m coming!” Bucky followed you, amused at your enthusiasm. He thought you were so cute the way your eyes practically sparkled when you told him you had something up your sleeve today.

You led him down the stairs and onto the train.

“So, you gonna tell me where we’re going yet?” he asked you playfully.

“Not yet,” you teased as you adjusted your bag in your lap, “But its somewhere I really hope with help you.”

A puzzled look crossed his face.

“Well, we’ve spent so much time catching you up on history and the times now,” you explained, “But I haven’t really been able to help with your memories or your past. I think I found something that can help… At least I hope so.”

Bucky’s heart skipped a beat and he found himself not knowing what to say. He was so taken aback by your kindness, and for everything you’ve done for him over the past weeks. “Thank you,” he gazed into your eyes, your beautiful eyes. In fact, Bucky found everything about you beautiful, both inside and out.

You smiled back at him, “We’ve got a little while before our stop and I had a long night at work last night, so I’m just gonna take a little nap. Ok?” You yawned.

“Sure,” without thinking, Bucky put his arm around you to let you lean into his chest to rest. He was grateful you ended up seated at his right side. After everything you did for him, he knew he owed you the whole truth, but he felt better keeping that part of him from you. He couldn’t risk the thought of you looking at him differently, and more importantly the less you knew the safer you were. He already betrayed his instinct to run and stay in solitude, so as long as he stayed in your life, he would keep the dangerous part of him from you.

“Wake me up when we get to Brooklyn,” you mumbled as you drifted off against his strong chest.

 _Brooklyn? What is she up to?_ Bucky thought to himself as he watched you sleep.

***

You followed the directions on your phone as you led Bucky through the streets of Brooklyn. You furrowed your brow as you tried to make sense of where you were. This area of the city wasn’t one you frequented often. You looked up to read the street sign, “A right here and then it should only be a few more blocks.”

“You gonna tell me where we’re going yet? Or is it still a surprise?” Bucky kept his voice amused, but he felt a little nervous at the same time. His original plan was to come to New York, to his old neighborhood, in order to try to find answers to the puzzle that was his past. However, now that he was back here, he felt uneasy. What if he didn’t find his answers? What if he did? Bucky wasn’t so sure what he wanted anymore, or what to do once he got it.

“Almost there,” you said, more to yourself than to Bucky. You were so enthralled in your directions and finding your destination that you barely head what Bucky said.

Bucky watched you in amusement as you tried to make sense of where you both were. He turned to look around and found a sense a familiarity coming over him. Nothing looked the same as when he lived here, of course, but the feeling was very similar. It was as if he subconsciously knew exactly where he was.

“A-ha! Found it!” you stopped suddenly in front of Bucky, causing him to crash into you. You started to fall forward, but felt a strong arm grab you around your waist before you fell. You turned up to face Bucky, “Sorry, didn’t mean to cut you off there,” you chucked. This was the second time today he has his arm around you, and you never felt safer. His embrace was strong, yet gentile at the same time. You found yourself lost in his eyes for a few moments.

“It’s ok,” he said with a smile. If he was honest with himself, he wanted nothing more than to hold you and never let you go. Having you with him made him feel at home.

You laughed nervously as you straightened your posture without leaving his embrace, “Well, here it is,” you looked up.

Bucky followed your gaze. “A church?”

“We’re not actually going inside. It should be around the back. Come on,” you took Bucky by the arm and led him to the back of the small church. It was an older building. It looked run down, like no one fixed it up or took much care of it in the past few years, but it still had its own charm. You could see the stained-glass windows that looked cleaner than the rest of the building. There must still be a small crowd that comes here regularly, you thought to yourself.

The space behind the church was a graveyard. Bucky had a feeling of why you brought him here, but stayed silent. He repositioned the arm you were holding so that he could hold your hand.

“Ok, Google said it should be riiiiight,” you paused and looked around, “here!” You stopped in front of two faced headstones. The first names were hard to read, but the last name was clearer: Barnes. “It took be a little while to find this, but I thought you might like to see your parents,” you found yourself rambling. Bucky’s silence made your nervous. You knew this was a gamble; who knew how he would react. “I thought maybe bringing you back to your past, or whatever I could find of it, would help you remember more.”

Bucky stood and stared at the headstones in silence as he processed his emotions. A wave of sadness sept over him first. Logically, he knew this was how he’d find anybody from his past. But actually seeing it was another story. At the same time, he felt relief. Relief because he has physical proof that he belonged here, that he was part of a family at one point. Another wave of emotions ran through him as a flood of memories came back to him. He squeezed your hand before he let it go to kneel down and study the headstones more carefully.

You watched Bucky in silence, not wanting to pull him out of his thoughts yet. After he kneeled down, you reached in your bag and pulled out two roses that you had carefully wrapped up and stored on top of everything. You wanted to bring a whole bouquet, but you didn’t want Bucky asking too many questions. You can always come back and leave more flowers another time.

As Bucky reached a hand out to brush over one of the stones, you knelt down and placed a rose in front of each of the stones. He glanced down at the flowers and then looked at you with an unreadable expression. You looked back at him and gave him a sympathetic smile, unsure of what to say. You reached out and caressed his face.

Bucky let out a sigh as a tear rolled down his cheek, as if he had been holding everything in and finally let it all go. “Thank you,” he whispered as he placed his hand over yours, “Thank you for bringing me back to my family.”

You felt tears in your eyes as you smiled at him, “This is what you came back to New York for, right?”

Bucky only nodded in response. He took your hand in his and led you both to your feet. “You ok?” he brushed his hand against your cheek to wipe a tear off.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, “I don’t know why I’m getting emotional. Maybe your transferring your feelings to me,” you tried to joke about it.

He smiled, “Maybe,” he paused, “Really though, this means a lot. More than you realize. Thank you, doll”

“Doll?” you giggled, “I guess this worked ‘cause no one says ‘doll’ anymore.”

Bucky’s face flushed; the word slipped out without him even realizing it.

“It’s ok, Bucky,” you leaded in to him and wrapped your warms around his waist, “It’ll be your special nickname for me then.”

He returned your embrace only with his right arm, but held you tightly. It was as if he was afraid you would disappear if he let you go. You both felt comforted wrapped up in each other’s arms.

But for Bucky, that feeling didn’t last. As soon as he felt himself let his guard down, he felt like you two were being watched. His mind immediately went on alert as his expression dropped and he scanned the graveyard as he stiffened his posture. Something felt off, he just couldn’t place what or why.

You noticed Bucky’s change in demeanor, “Something wrong?” You leaned back and followed his gaze only to see nothing.

Bucky pulled you close again, “Let’s get out of here,” was his answer as he led you away.

As confused as you were, you chose not to press the subject as you walked briskly to the train station in silence, Bucky still holding your hand tightly. The worry was always in the back of his mind that he would be found, which is why he never spent the night in the same place twice and always made sure to meet you somewhere different every day to not create a pattern. Before he met you, he didn’t even plan to stay in New York for this long. Maybe he needed to get away for a while to keep whoever it was off his trail, and away from you.

“Everything ok?” you asked once you were seated on the train.

“Yeah,” Bucky replied bluntly, “Which stop is yours?” He had his walls up again.

“That one,” you pointed to the stop that was closest to your work on the route map.

Bucky only nodded in response and he kept his posture stiff and alert. You had never seen him act like this before, even when you two first met. You stared at his face, trying to will him to turn and look at you, but he just kept looking forward. Why did it feel like he was ignoring you suddenly? Was he trying to push you away?

“You sure you’re ok?” you asked again.

“Fine,” another one-word response through a clenched jaw.

You and Bucky spent the train ride in silence, but this one was not a comfortable one. You ran through different scenarios in your mind to try to figure out why he was acting like this. Was he mad at you for taking him there? Did you say something to upset him without realizing? The questions ate at your thoughts as the lights of the tunnel zipped by.

Once you reached your stop, you led him down a few blocks to the club where you worked. The sun was almost set and music was already blaring out of the building. Bucky still had yet to say another word and you found it odd that he didn’t take your hand as you walked. It remained a wordless thing between you, but you enjoyed when he took your hand or when he let you lean against his strong body. It felt cold to walk next to him without the physical contact.

“Well, this is it,” you shuffled nervously as you stopped in front of the club.

Bucky still said nothing and his expression remained hard and almost cold.

You let out a deep sigh, “Bucky, I can’t stand this anymore! Tell me what’s wrong, please,” you pleaded, “Did I do something wrong? Did today upset you? What is it? If you’re mad at me just tell me please”

His expression turned to a sad one as he finally looked at you, “It’s not that,” was all he offered.

“Then what?” your tone was sterner than you meant.

Bucky looked down to the ground, “I can’t tell you.”

You actually felt hurt by that as you fought back tears that threatened to form in your eyes, “Why, Bucky? Why won’t you let me help you?”

Bucky paused for a moment, “I can’t, doll,” he took a breath to steady his thoughts, “Just, I need some time.”

“Fine,” it was your turn with the blunt, sharp response, “I guess you can call me once you’ve figured whatever it is out,” this wasn’t how you expected this day to go, and it tore you apart to talk to him like that. But clearly, there was something going on with him and you didn’t want to be left hanging like this if he wasn’t going to let you in to help, as much as you wanted to help him still. You turned and went into the building before Bucky could respond.

He felt his heart shatter at your words as he watched you leave. The last thing Bucky wanted to do was to hurt you like this, but he would rather this than something happen to you. He needed to put some distance for now so he could make sure that you were safe. There was a feeling he couldn’t shake that you two weren’t alone in that graveyard. And that whoever it was brought bad news with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I actually re-wrote that ending 3 times cause I couldn't find a way I was happy with. Gotta add a little drama to this story, right? Anyway, now we're getting into the meat of the plot now so these next few chapters will be more exciting after these set-up chapters. Thanks to everyone who's been reading so far!


	5. Chapter 5

Several weeks went by and you did not hear from Bucky. You went over your last conversation in your head so many times, and each time was harder than the last. You regretted the way you talked to Bucky, but he never made you feel hurt like that before. The two clashing feelings ate at your mind, and your heart. Every morning when you woke up, the first thing you would do was check your phone for a message from him. And every morning you were disappointed to see nothing on the screen.

Most days, you found yourself at one of the parks or coffee shops where you and Bucky met up in hopes of running into him. Again, you were disappointed. Day after day, you would sit and scan the crowds. Every time you saw a man with shoulder-length brown hair, your heart would skip a beat, only to drop when you realized it wasn’t him. After a while, you started to pick up some afternoon shifts at the club. You figured if you weren’t going to hear from him, you might as well keep yourself busy to try and keep your mind off of him.

One day, you even found yourself in front of Avengers tower. You made it up to the door before you chickened out and went to the coffee shop next door to it instead. What were you expecting by going there anyway? Would you just walk up and ask to speak to Captain America and he’d show up, no problem? No, that was crazy. In the end, you left without even stepping foot in the building.

***

“You been ok lately, baby?” your coworker, Angel’s voice broke you out of your thoughts. Angel was one of your closest friends at the club. She was tall and thin, with dark skin and the biggest most beautiful afro you had ever seen in your life.

You shook yourself out of your head to answer her, “Yeah,” it was a lie but you didn’t want to talk about anything right now. You and Angel sat next to each other to work on your hair and makeup in the large shared dressing room. You both were getting ready for the evening’s show along with all the other dancers. The room was full of commotion as women of various skin tones and body types got their getups for their dances ready.

“You know I’ve known you a long time and I can tell when something’s off with you,” her tone was soft, “Even when you try to hide it.”

“I just don’t wanna talk about it right now. You know I hate going on stage when I’m emotional,” you were grateful for a friend right now, but you know what you’re like when you dance after a heartbreak. You’ve been there before and you did not enjoy it. Right now, you just wanted to put it out of your mind and get through another shift.

“Ok,” Angel decided to leave it alone for now, “You know you can talk to me about anything, so whenever you wanna talk I’m here for you, Nightingale.”

Nightingale. That was your stripper name. No one ever used their real named here, only stage names. When you first came to work here, you had recently watched Cinderella and her story resonated with you. Maybe you were young and naïve, but you had the romantic notion that one day your “prince” would come and you wouldn’t have to work so much for so little. As you got older, the feeling changed and you decided that the only one you could rely on to help you was you. It was still a nice thought to think about sometimes, though, so you kept the name. Plus, you liked the song from the movie.

“Hey, whatever happened to that guy I saw you with a while ago?” a voice on your other side of you chimed in.

“I haven’t seen him since then, Honey,” you answered her bluntly and tried to keep your composure as you continued to touch up your makeup.

Honey shrugged as she worked on her eyeliner, “Too bad, he was cute. I was rooting for you there.” Honey was the exact opposite of Angel when it came to looks. She was shorter, blonde, and had pale white skin. On the outside, Honey looked like the stereotypical stripper, however she never let her good looks go to her head and she was one of the most humble girls you worked with. You, Angel, and Honey were somewhat of a trio among everyone there.

You said nothing in response. You knew she meant well but her words still stung.

“Alright ladies, we’re on in 10,” a male voice rang though the room: the club manager. He walked through the makeup stations and gave each girl direction as he talked to their reflections in the mirror. “Angel, Honey,” he got to where the three of you sat, “You’ll be of the side stage tonight. Nightingale,” he turned to you, “You’ll main stage tonight. I know you were here this afternoon, but I think you can handle it.” The three of you nodded as you finished getting ready.

***

The music and the lights felt like an assault on the senses, but Bucky endured it anyway as he made his way through the crowd in the club. He spent the past few weeks on the run from the spying eyes that he felt in the graveyard. More than once, he actually left the city to throw them off, but he couldn’t stay away for long. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that no matter how hard he tried, they were right on his tail.

When he got back into the city, Bucky managed to corner one of his followers. It only confirmed his worst fear. He knew who was after him and why. And in the time he was on the run, they managed to figure out who you were. They must have gotten a good look at your face the day they saw you and were able to track you down since then. Bucky cursed to himself for being so careless, and he knew he had to go back for you. He only hoped that he found you before they did.

What would he say to you once you two were face to face again? Deep down, Bucky knew that he would have to tell you the whole story, but he still dreaded it. He wondered if you even still wanted to see him after your last conversation. He hoped you still would. Every day that he was away from you, all he wanted was to be back with you. Bucky had to admit to himself that he missed you, and he grew to care for you a lot. He wondered if you felt the same way about him.

Bucky moved around the open area of the club. It was a large space with bars along both walls, a DJ booth in one corner, small stages around the room, and one large stage with a runway. Tables and lounge chairs filled the space between the stages. The room was dim, only lit by spotlights for the stages, disco balls and colorful laser lights. Even in the low light, Bucky could easily distinguish everyone’s faces. He roamed the room looking for you, ignoring each beautiful worker that tried to come up to him.

After circling the space a few times, Bucky decided maybe you were going to be on the stage tonight, so he took a seat at the corner of one of the bars in the back of the room. He ordered a beer to not draw suspicion and sat back in the shadows as he watched each dancer take the stage.

“Gentleman and guys,” the older man with yellow sunglasses and white hair behind the DJ booth announced, “Please welcome to the main stage,” he paused for dramatic effect, “The Nightingale!”

At the announcement, you came out on stage.

Bucky couldn’t help his jaw drop when he saw you. You sauntered out on stage holding a long velvet cloak closed, wearing black heals. Your hair and makeup was done up beautifully. You swayed to the music as everyone in the crowd cheered for you. Slowly at first, but picking up the pace as the music started to speed up. You teased the crowd with a leg first, then let your cloak side down your shoulder a bit before hiking it back up.

“Make us sing, Nightingale!” the announcer shouted, hyping up the crowd even more

At the change of the beat, you flung your cloak back to reveal a short, tight-fit black lace dress over a black bra and black hotpants. The crowd went wild and threw money up on the stage as you swung around the pole. You spun around, doing tricks and shimmying your body to entertain the crowd. Some men even came up to the stage to hand you money personally, and you allowed them to tuck it in your garter or on your bra strap. One of the men tried to touch you, but you slapped them away. You were playful, but it was still a warning not to do it again.

 _Wow,_ Bucky thought to himself. He felt his heart pound in his chest as he watched you dance. It wasn’t even the way you were dressed that captivated him. He’d be lying to himself if that wasn’t part of it, but it was the way you lit up the stage, the way you smiled. You looked absolutely amazing. He even found that he got a little angry when the men in the crowd tried to touch you too much or lingered too long by you. Was he jealous?

Bucky was so captivated watching you that he didn’t notice a group of men dressed in all back slip in the club. They made their way in the shadows to not draw attention to themselves and spread out so that they covered each corner of the room.

And then a gunshot rang out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry!!!


	6. Chapter 6

The gunshot hit the DJ booth, causing the old man to fall back and the music to cut off. Screams rang out as everyone scattered. The men in black continued to fire aimlessly into the crowd, not caring who they hit or who they killed. Bucky immediately ran towards the stage to get to you, but you already dove off the stage to take cover. He frantically searched through the crowd and hoped that you didn’t get hit.

 _Please be ok. Please be ok. Please be ok._ Bucky chanted to himself. His heart pounded in his chest as he weaved through the crowd as fast as he could to get to you.

Right as the sound of gunshots rang out, you immediately dived off the stage. You knew being up on the stage made you a prime target, so you moved as fast as you could. You landed among the crowd and tried to make you way out, staying ducked behind the lounge chairs and the tables for cover. It was a packed house that night, and all the bodies colliding with each other in a scramble to avoid getting shot made it difficult to move through the room.

You didn’t get very far, though. Every time you tried to move towards the door, someone would knock you back in their panic. You ducked down between a lounge chair and the side of the stage, electing to try to stay hidden until you had a window to get out. Fear overtook you and you shook in your hiding spot. There had been incidents at the club before, but nothing on this scale. You tried to steady yourself and tried to keep yourself as still as possible to stay out of sight.

It didn’t work, though.

“Hold it right there,” a venomous voice shouted behind you.

You froze.

A man dressed in all black stood a few feet away from you and held a gun pointed right at you. “On your feet,” he ordered.

You raised your hands and slowly stood up to your feet, unsure of what else to do. You clenched your jaw in an attempt to stay still, scared that if this man saw you shaking too much he wouldn’t hesitate to fire his gun.

He smiled wickedly at you as he took a step towards you. You remained completely still. You drew a total blank of what to do and just hoped that you would make it through this. In your mind, there was only one person that you hoped was here by your side.

“NO!” a familiar voice shouted over the commotion.

Your breath caught in your throat as you looked over the man’s shoulder. You knew that voice anywhere. The man holding the gun quickly spun around and did not hesitate to fire at Bucky. Bucky held up his metal hand to shield himself from the gunfire as he hustled over to him.

Once Bucky was within arm’s reach, he grabbed the gun from the assailant’s hand and punched him square in the face, knocking him out cold. Then, he swiftly rushed over to you and pulled you close to him. He turned both your bodies to use his metal arm as a shield again to cover you from incoming fire. He then returned fire quickly, hitting each man in one shot.

 _That explains a lot,_ you thought to yourself as Bucky held you close. You were in a state of shock that you simultaneously had a million thoughts in your head and also none at all. Between the chaos and the gunfire and Bucky reappearing after weeks, it was a lot for you to process.

“Are you hurt?” Bucky only pulled away enough to look at your face but still kept you in his arms.

You shook your head. Before you should get any words out, more gunshots rang through the air. Bucky was quick to react, and dove the both of you behind a table that was tipped on to its side. He kept one arm around you as the fired back with the other.

“Listen to me,” Bucky turned back to you after he shot the other man firing at you two, “You need to get out of here,” he was out of breath and you could hear the panic in his voice, “Is there a back exit or something?”

You looked up at him, “Bucky,” your voice was quiet and shaky.

“Is there a way out?” there was urgency in his voice.

You nodded, “The employee door, out the back.”

“Ok, I’ll cover you. Go out that way and stay hidden. I’ll find you once it’s safe.”

“Bucky,” you repeated in a whisper.

He snapped back at you with your name, “I promise I’ll explain everything later, but right now I need you to be safe,” he cradled your face with his hand. You could see the panic in his face and could tell that he was genuine.

You blinked in surprise a few times before you nodded. Now was not the right time, even though you had so many questions for him. At his signal, you dashed for the back of the stage as he covered you, shooting at everyone who tried to get near you or do you harm. You dashed quickly behind the curtain and out of sight of anyone in the room. Bucky waited to make sure that none of the armed men followed you before turning to deal with the rest of the room. Most of the crowd had cleared out, but there were still a few of the man with guns firing on any stragglers.

Backstage was completely empty. As much as you wanted to stop and catch your breath or go back to check on Bucky, you knew it was best to keep moving. The look on Bucky’s face stayed in your mind, how concerned he was for you and how he did not hesitate to protect you. The thought of him kept you going as you ran through the backstage area back to the dressing room. You stopped at your makeup station to grab your bag and coat from under the table before darting out the employee door.

You stayed in the shadow for a moment to make sure no one was waiting outside the door. You were alone, but it was pouring rain. The sound of the rain drowned out the sounds of screams, cries and gunshots from inside. It sent a shiver down your spine and you suddenly had a moment to think about what just happened. Were people you worked with ok? Did your friends make it out?

You swallowed hard as you tried not to let your emotions run wild yet. You had made it out of the club unhurt, but Bucky was still inside, so it wasn’t over for you yet. You clutched your jacket close to your body as you turned down the street in the rain. You weren’t sure where to go, but as long as you stayed out of the light, you figured you would be ok.

You were wrong.

Suddenly, a big male figure swopped behind you. Before you could react, he had one strong arm around your waist, pinning your arms to your side, and one arm around your chest to hold a knife to your throat. You gasped and tried to struggle, but he held you too tightly. So tight that it was almost painful.

“Where do you think you’re going, gorgeous?” the man spoke right into your ear.

“No,” was all you could breathe out. His words chilled you to your core.

“You didn’t think you’d get away that easily,” he said with a dark laugh, “You’re the one we wanted anyway.”

 _Why me? What do they want with me?_ Your thoughts raced. You tried to struggle again but he only tightened his grip on you and let the knife dig in your throat a little bit.

“Let her go!” a voice yelled.

You looked up to find Bucky standing in front of you and your captor, his gun aimed forward and ready to fire.

The man only burst into laughter, “Oh my God! Oh my God it’s true! The Winter Soldier found himself a little whore!”

Bucky did not acknowledge his comment, “Let. Her. Go.” He repeated.

“Now why would I let our bargaining chip go?” he leaned his face into your hair, “I gotta say though, you picked yourself a pretty one.”

Tears formed in your eyes as you tried to turn your head away from with without digging into the knife anymore. Your breath became shakier as you couldn’t hold your fear back anymore.

Bucky grunted as he clicked the gun, reading it to fire. “Stop that!”

“What are you gonna go? Shoot me?” the man retorted, “You’ll have to shoot through her to get to me.” He smiled as he tried to call Bucky’s bluff.

You only whimpered, there was nothing else you could do at this point. You closed your eyes, not wanting to see what would happen next. You would have wanted more time with Bucky, to get to know him completely. But in your mind, you had already come to the conclusion that this was how it would end for you.

Bucky took a moment to calculate his next move. Instead of replying to him, he addressed you. “Doll,” his voice was softer, “Look at me, doll.”

You opened your eyes to look into his. Bucky still had his gun up, but his face was softer as looked at you. His expression changed from a hardened one to a more comforting one, as if he was trying to tell you it would all be ok. You took a deep breath.

“Just keep your eyes on me, ok?” he said to you, ignoring the continuing taunting of your captor. You swallowed hard and nodded slightly in response.

Your eyes never left his as he fired his gun.

Behind you, you heard an echo of another gunshot. Bucky noticed another man coming up behind you to back up your captor during his confrontation. He shot that man, who reflexively shot his gun, which hit your captor in the back. The man in the shadows fell right to the ground and your captor started to fall forward and released his grip on you in the process.

In no time, Bucky was right in front of you and pulled you from the man’s dying grip. You fell into his arms and let him hold you tightly. Even though Bucky’s grip was tight, it was comforting, and you finally felt safe. You sobbed into his chest as he continued to hold you as close as he could to him.

He whispered your name in your ear, “I’m so sorry. Doll, I’m so sorry,” he repeated.

“Bucky,” your voice was weak. You wrapped your arms around his waist, afraid that if you let go he would disappear again. You two took the moment of quiet as you held each other in the rain, not even caring that you were getting soaked.

Before either of you could say anything else, the sound of police sirens rang through the air. Bucky looked up and immediately went back into full attention. “Come on, we gotta get out of here,” he kept you tucked under his arm as he led you away from the club before the police arrived.

***

You and Bucky checked into a hotel room once Bucky felt like you were far enough away. Luckily you grabbed your bag and had money from working earlier in the day to pay for it in cash. You even gave the front desk a little extra for discretion. The hotel room was nice, but nothing special. A dresser, tv, and queen size bed filled most of the space, with a bathroom on one side of the entrance hallway and an open closet on the other. As soon as you two entered the room, Bucky went to close the curtains and put the extra locks on the door and made sure the room was secure. You watched him from the doorway as you wrapped your arms around yourself. You both were soaking wet from the rain.

“You’re shivering,” Bucky said to you as he faced you again. He looked down at your neck and brushed his fingers over the cut made by the knife held to you. He frowned as his heart sank again. He was almost sure that would leave a scar, and that it was all his fault. A fresh pang of guilt hit him again. “Why don’t you take a hot shower?” he suggested.

You nodded and moved toward the bathroom. Before you closed the door, you heard Bucky behind you.

“Here,” he handed you one of the two robes from the closet.

“Thanks,” you replied softly before shutting yourself in the bathroom. Once you were in the shower, you finally let all your emotions explode. You cried your eyes out as the hot water ran down your body. It was therapeutic though, as if the water washed away all your sorrows. Bucky heard your sobs over the water and it tore him apart to hear you break down like that. He wanted nothing more than to go in and hold you, but he also wanted to give you some space.

You emerged from the bathroom wrapped in the robe to see Bucky still standing in the same spot, as if he was keeping watch. It looked as if his face told an entire story; you could see guilt, anger, sadness, and so many conflicting emotions on his face. He said nothing as he reached to touch the mark on your neck again.

“I’m ok,” you whispered. He still did not say anything, but you could read the ‘sorry’ in his eyes. You took a deep breath, “Why don’t you take a shower too, then we’ll talk? I’ll soak your shirt here in the sink.”

Bucky did as you said and went into the bathroom, handing you his shirt through the cracked door before shutting it. You busied yourself at the sink as you heard the shower running. Bucky was quick and opened the door with just a towel wrapped around his waist. You did a double take as you saw his chest and full metal arm for the first time. You tried not to let your gaze linger and looked down into the sink instead. Bucky was prepared for you to react to his scar and arm, so it didn’t phase him at all.

“There’s another robe in the closet over there,” you said quietly. You kept your head down as you heard Bucky move behind you. He grabbed a robe, wrapped it around his muscular body and went to sit at the edge of the bed. You followed him and sat to his left. You both sat in silence for a few moments before Bucky spoke up.

“I’m sorry. I knew getting close to you would only end badly, but I did anyway. This was all my fault,” Bucky kept his head down.

“Who were they anyway?” you asked, unsure of what else to say.

“Hydra.”

“Hydra? I thought they fell after all that happened in DC. It was all over the news. But what would they want with you?” you paused, “And why did that one guy call you the winter soldier?”

Bucky sighed, “I’ve owed you the whole story for a while now,” he looked you in the eye before continuing, “Back then, I didn’t just end up on ice or anything like that. Hydra found me, and they made me their weapon. I was like their puppet; I was in my body, but I had no control over what I did. And I did… horrible… things. And that’s what they called me… the winter soldier,” Bucky felt himself start to come apart as the guilt ate at him. He looked down, ashamed of himself. He couldn’t bare to look at you after his confession.

Everything made sense now, “That day in the graveyard, they were there weren’t they?” you asked. Bucky only nodded in response. You felt tears form in your eyes again as your heart broke for him, “Did they do this to you too?” you took his metal hand in yours.

“Yes,” he whispered as he closed his hand around yours.

You reached your free hand out to lightly touch the scar on his chest where flesh met metal, “Does it hurt?”

“Not anymore,” he didn’t even flinch at your feather light touch nor did he pull away.

A few moments of silence passed before you spoke, “I’m so sorry,” your voice was soft and sympathetic.

“What?” Bucky snapped up to look at you again. He wasn’t sure what you would say, but he certainly did not expect that.

“I’m sorry for how much you’ve suffered, for everything you’ve gone though. And all alone too,” there was no hesitation in your voice, “You may think of yourself as a monster, Bucky, but you’ve been nothing but a hero to me. I mean, you did save my life multiple times,” you tried to smile through your tears. “I do wish you told me all this sooner,” you added, “But I understand why you didn’t. And I don’t blame you for what happened.”

Bucky fell silent. He had no idea what to say. All he could do was hold your hand tighter. He felt his heart pounding in his chest as your gazes lingered on each other. You looked at him so tenderly and lovingly, and he returned the same look. He thought to himself, _What did I do to deserve you?_

“Can I ask you one more thing?” you were the one to break the silence this time. Bucky swallowed hard and nodded. “Will you kiss me, Bucky Barnes?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be smut just a heads up. No plot, just smut lol!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pure smut. Cause nothing gets the blood pumping like a near death experience!

“Will you kiss me, Bucky Barnes?”

Bucky said nothing as he cupped your face with his hand. He took a moment to study your face before slowly pulling you closer to him. Very tenderly, he kissed you. Soft at first, but as your lips lingered together, you deepened the kiss. You parted your lips to let Bucky’s tongue slide in your mouth and play with yours. The whole time, you never let go of his metal hand.

You broke apart for air and you guided Bucky’s metal hand to the small of your back. He looked at you in concern; he had never held anyone, much less someone he cared so much about, with his metal arm.

“It’s ok,” you whispered, “I know you won’t hurt me,” you reached your arms around his shoulders and pulled him back to you to kiss him again. He eagerly kissed you back and held you tightly, no longer afraid of hurting you. Your confidence in him made him feel reassured.

Moving before he realized what he was doing, Bucky reached for the sash of your robe. He pulled his face back from you, breaking your kiss. His eyes met yours, both equally filled with passion and want. Bucky kept his hand on the sash, not moving until you say to. With your eyes locked onto his, you nodded.

With your go-ahead, Bucky tugged at the sash of your robe and pulled it open. You let go of his broad shoulders to let the fabric slide off your body. Bucky’s eyes roamed all over your body. He took in every detail of every inch of you. Lust filled his entire being and he found himself wanting you now more than ever.

“Wow, doll,” he whispered in a raspy voice, “You’re stunning.”

You felt yourself blush at his gaze. You were used to people, mostly men, staring at you, but this was different. The way Bucky looked at was so different from any other person you had been with or danced for at work. It didn’t feel like he was looking at you like an object, but a person. And the way he called you ‘stunning’ sent a warmth through your body.

Before you could say anything in response, Bucky wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to his body. He retook your lips with his own again and kissed you hungrily. This time, Bucky wasted no time, immediately taking your tongue with his. You responded right away, resuming the dance of your tongues before you two broke apart.

Bucky held you tightly as he moved his face down to kiss your neck. You let out a soft gasp as he nipped and sucked on the sensitive skin there, the sensations driving you wild. He continued to hold you with his metal arm as he brought his other arm to cup your breast. The action caused you to let out a loud moan.

“Bucky,” you breathed out.

Your moans only encouraged him more; he sucked harder on your neck as he gently pinched your nipple between his fingers. Your voice was music to his ears, the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. Just the sounds you made alone were enough to cause Bucky to grow hard. As much as he wanted you, though, he would wait for his own pleasure. Bucky wanted to take his time with you first. He wanted to kiss every inch of you, find every spot on your body that drove you wild.

He moved his hand to your other breast to give it the same attention as the first. All the while, he placed open mouth kisses all over your neck, shoulders and face. You held on to his robe with one hand and a fistful of his brown hair with the other as his actions, both with his hand and his mouth, sent chills of pleasure through your body. You felt your heart pound in your chest as heat rose between your legs. In that moment, you wanted nothing more than to have him inside you.

“Please, Bucky… Please…” your voice was soft but desperate as you pleaded in his ear.

Bucky nibbled your ear as he said your name in a low voice. His flesh hand ticked down your stomach which sent shivers and goosebumps up your body. He stopped and held his hand at the base of your front. He pulled back slightly to look your directly in the eyes; they were as desperate as his own. He kept his eyes locked on yours as he slid his hand between your legs. He could feel the heat and wetness there.

Still held in his metal arm, you shifted to open your legs for the man who saved your life. Slowly, Bucky slid one finger inside you. You let out a loud moan as his finger easily slid inside you, shooting shivers up your spine. Bucky watched your face contort in pleasure and oh how he loved it; your face that flushed pink from the blood rushing through your body. It was his favorite sight he had ever laid eyes on.

Gently, Bucky retracted his finger so that it was half out of you before pushing back in. You gasped and moan as he started a rhythm in and out of you. If it weren’t for the strong metal arm holding you up, you would have collapsed to your side and melted. Bucky pumped a few more times before adding a second finger.

Your mouth fell open as you breathed heavier and heaver with each thrust of his fingers. You held onto his strong frame as your head fell back. Bucky took the opportunity to kiss your exposed neck, causing you to moan more. You chanted his name like a mantra with each thrust of his fingers. You had yet to ever touch him, but Bucky felt like he could come just from the sounds of your moans alone. However, he wanted to wait. He wanted to wait until he was deep inside you and only after you had your orgasm first. He wanted you to feel the most pleasure he was capable of giving you; he wanted you to feel special and amazing.

His pace quickened as he added a third finger inside you. You were wet enough that he had no trouble sliding in your opening. He never slowed his pace as he continued to push his fingers in and out of you. The action made you scream his name.

“Oh my God! Bucky!” you cried out as you held his hair in your hands. Bucky pumped his fingered into you even harder and faster as he circled your clit with his thumb. “Bucky!” you repeated his name, “I’m gonna cum, Bucky!”

Bucky kept his pace up as he pulled his face way to watch yours. His cock twitched as he took in the exquisite sight in front of him. Your eyes fluttered half open as you looked into his eyes. You swallowed hard as his eyes bore into yours. The look on his face was unlike any look anyone had ever given you before. Bucky looked at you as if you were the world. And to Bucky, right now you were.

“I…. Bucky…. I… Ahh!” you couldn’t finish the thought before your orgasm took you over. You tightened your grip on him as you came on his hand, shaking and shivering in pleasure. Bucky watched with passion in his eyes as you rode out your orgasm, your screams filling the room.

If Bucky hadn’t been holding you up, you would have fallen back and collapsed. Instead, you slumped forward into his chest as you breathed heavily. Bucky wrapped both his arms around you and held you tight. You both sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments as you caught your breath. You could feel Bucky’s heart beating. You smiled as the sound soothed you, and you softly traced his muscles with your hand.

You pulled away enough to look up into his face and cupped his cheek with your hand. Without saying a word, you pulled him to you and kissed him tenderly. In that kiss, you both felt the same thing: that neither was alone anymore and that you had a connection that words couldn’t describe. You each meant more to the other than words could say. But, you didn’t need words right now. The silent communication was more than enough for both you and Bucky.

It was your turn to pull at the sash of Bucky’s robe as your lips were locked. It came undone easily and you broke your kiss to slide it over his shoulders and down his back to reveal his sculpted body and fully hard erection. Bucky watched your face as you let your eyes roam over his body. It may be covered in scars with the large one on his chest from the metal arm, but he was still the most handsome man you ever met in your life. To you, he was perfect. Your gaze traced over every line of each of his well-defined muscles before you looked up into his face. His soft eyes and pouty lips gave him a gentleness about him in contrast to his rock-solid body.

You licked your lips before pulling him back to you, crashing your lips together with a renewed sense of urgency. You couldn’t wait any longer; you needed him. Bucky responded immediately with equal enthusiasm and wrapped his arms around you again. He pulled you close before scooting both if your bodies up to the head of the bed. You let out a soft gasp at the movement, which Bucky took advantage of to deepen your kiss again.

Once you were both lying on your sides, Bucky swung his leg to position himself on top of you. However, you stopped him from doing so, and took the opportunity in his confusion to push him into his back and straddle his waist. You looked down at him and smirked. That look on your face made Bucky’s cock twitch again. He bit his lip as he looked up at you before he placed his hands on your hips.

Knowing just how to tease him, you slowly rocked your body so that your ass brushed against his erection. Bucky moaned softly and rocked his hips against you in rhythm while still holding on to you. You leaned forward to claim his lips with your own. There was need in the kiss. A need from both of you.  

Breaking apart, you shifted down his body so that you were hovering over his hips and his erection was right in front of you. You took his length in your hand and started pumping. Mirroring how he was with you, you started slowly at first. Pre-cum already dripped from his tip as he let out quiet moans. You picked up your pace and he rocked his hips desperately, craving your touch.

Once you felt like his cock was slick enough, you positioned yourself above it. Bucky locked eyes with you as you started to lower yourself onto his length. Both of you let out gasps and moans as you slowly dropped yourself down onto him. Bucky’s breath caught in his throat as he watched himself disappear inside you. It was the hottest, most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life.

You exhaled deeply once Bucky was completely inside you. A shiver ran up your spine at the feeling of his cock filling you. You rested your hands against his chest while still holding yourself upright. You held still for a few moments while you adjusted. You took a few deep breaths as you felt yourself stretched around his erection.

“You ok, doll?” Bucky asked, his thumbs stroking your hips to comfort you.

“Yeah,” you breathed out, “You’re so big, Bucky.”

Bucky kept his metal arm on your hip while his flesh arm reached up to cup your face. He pulled you down so your lips met once again. While your lips were still locked together, you started to move. Slowly up a few inches, then back down. Bucky swallowed your moan as you crashed your bodies back together again. You continued your rhythm, taking the lead while Bucky followed.

Needing to catch your breath, you broke the kiss. You did not change your position, though, and pressed your forehead against Bucky’s. His eyes met yours again as you picked up the pace. You rocked your hips forward as you lowered yourself, which made Bucky cry out in pleasure. Moans from both of you filled the small space between your faces as you kept your eyes locked on each other.

Then, Bucky decided it was time for him to take charge. He grabbed your hips tighter, stopping your rhythm and repositioned his hips under yours. He pulled himself out so that only his tip was still inside you before thrusting his entire length back inside you.

“Ahh!” you cried out.

He continued to thrust into you at a fast pace while he held you still. Your arms shook as you held yourself up so that you could still see his face. Faster, harder, Bucky kept the new pace as each movement made you scream in ecstasy.

“Bucky,” his name escaped your lips loudly as you fought to keep your eyes open, “Oh my God!”

“You feel so good,” he moaned your name as he pushed himself into you harder and harder, “I’m… I’m close, doll.”

“Me… Me too,” you exhaled between moans and cries, “Oh fuck, Bucky!” you voice went up an octave as he changed his angle and found that spot inside you that drove you wild.

Bucky held your hips tight as his cock hit your sweet spot over and over. You clenched around him as you felt your orgasm building fast. Before you knew it, your whole body shook as you came for the second time that night, shouting his name. You couldn’t hold yourself up anymore and you collapsed on top of him while he still pounded into you, his own orgasm right behind yours. Bucky wrapped his arms around you tightly and held you, his rhythm never breaking.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said in a low voice before he came while he cried out your name.


	8. Chapter 8

A single ray of sunlight peaking through the curtains woke you up the next morning. You groaned quietly as you rolled over to face away from the window. Your arm fell to the other side of the bed, but instead of coming into contact with Bucky, you found it empty. You blinked in confusion a few times to focus your vision. You propped yourself up on your elbows to look around, only to find yourself alone in the hotel room.

But you weren’t alone for long. The sound of the door clicking open started you out of your thoughts and you covered yourself with the blankets. You let out a sigh of relief when you saw that it was Bucky that walked through the door. He walked in carrying two bags and immediately smiled at you when he saw you awake.

“Sorry to startle you,” he apologized as he set the bags down on the bed, “I thought I’d be back before you woke up.”

“It’s ok,” your voice was still hoarse, “I just woke up.”

Bucky studied you for a few moments, and memorized every detail of you. How soft you looked laying there, sleep still lingering in your eyes. He traced your shoulder and collar bone with his eyes, and how your messy hair framed your face perfectly. In that time, you were doing the same to him. Bucky’s body may be strong and built, but his face was soft. His piercing eyes seemed to look into your soul, but yet they weren’t harsh. His scruffy beard lined his strong jawline beautifully. Even though his shirt, you could see each muscle in his chest and arms perfectly defined.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, “I got you some clothes,” he pushed one of the bags closer to you, “As much as I like that lace dress of yours,” he added with a soft chuckle.

“Thanks, Bucky,” you smiled widely at him as you took the bag. Inside you found a grey tank top with the statue of liberty on it, black leggings and black ballet flats.

“I hope it all fits. I made my best guess,” he added shyly.

You took the bag and went into the bathroom to get dressed. Bucky dropped his gaze down to the floor to give you some privacy since you were still completely naked under the sheets which you should cute. You quickly came back from the bathroom fully dressed.

“Fits perfectly,” you sat back down on the bed next to him and took his hand in yours. He looked down at your connected hands before he realized the hand you took was his metal one. You took it without hesitation, and he was momentarily overcome with emotion as he thought about how easily you accepted him. Bucky cradled your face with his other hand before pulling you in for a soft kiss.

A rumble from your stomach interrupted your intimate moment and you laughed into his lips, “Sorry, I guess I’m hungry.”

“That’s what this is for,” Bucky replied lightly as he grabbed the other bag. You reached into the bag to find muffins and water bottles. You both settled in the middle of the bed with the bag between you like a picnic.

“So, what do we do now?” you asked between bites.

Bucky’s expression dropped.

“Bucky?” you had concern in your voice.

He let out a sigh, “I’m sorry,” Bucky started, “I got you involved in all this, and now you can’t go back. You won’t be safe.”

You slumped your shoulders. You knew that things were going to change for you, but it was still hard to process. You let out a deep breath, “I can’t go back anyway.”

Bucky looked at you with a puzzled expression.

“After what happened last night, I don’t think I can go back to that place,” you clarified. You had no idea how anyone faired in the commotion and the gunfire last night. You didn’t know if any of your friends, coworkers, or regulars made it out. And honestly, you didn’t want to know. You would rather hope for the best, and if anyone didn’t make it, you didn’t want to know. Even if everyone was still alive, the flashes of what happened would play in your mind the second you walked through those doors.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and looked up to meet Bucky’s eyes. You saw the concern there, the same look you saw last night when he protected you. A mix of emotions ran though you: fear, uncertainty, sadness… adoration. You had no idea what was going to happen next, and when you remember the events at the club last night you were filled with fear. Yet, at the same time, somehow you felt safe with Bucky and when you looked at him your heart skipped a beat.

“So,” you let out another deep breath as you tried to keep your composure, “What now?” you repeated.

Bucky’s gaze roamed around the room only to land on the window, “We go on the run,” he said softly. The last thing Bucky wanted to do was get you so wrapped up in this. He never wanted to put you in harm’s way. Right now, he had no other choice. If he were to leave on his own, he was sure Hydra would come after you again. They knew who you were, and they knew you meant a lot to Bucky. He knew all too well that Hydra would stop at nothing to get what they want, and it didn’t matter to them who they hurt along the way. He couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you.

You could see Bucky’s internal battle written all over his face. After the time you spent with him, you learned that he did not use his words as much as his facial expressions to communicate, even if he wasn’t completely aware of it. “Bucky,” you whispered.

“I know I’m asking a lot from you, but this is the only way I can keep you safe,” Bucky cut off whatever thought you had.

A sigh escaped your lips, “I know.”

Bucky looked at you with a melancholy look in his eyes.

“I know you’re right, Bucky,” you started your thought again while you met his gaze, “I’ll admit, it’s not gonna be easy. But I trust you.”

He swallowed hard and nodded, “I’ll promise you this,” he said your name so sweetly, “I promise I’ll keep you safe. No matter what.”

You squeezed his hand with newfound determination. Your life was about to completely change, and you knew you had dangers ahead. But, as long as you had Bucky at your side, you had a feeling that things would be ok in the end. At least, that’s what you could hope for.

***

“We gotta be quick, doll. If they knew where you work, they had to find your place by now,” Bucky stood by the door way of your studio apartment. You wanted to stop by so you could pack a small bag of things before you went on the run. Mostly a few changes of clothes, some jewelry and small family heirlooms, and cash that you had stored in a safe place.

“I know, I know,” you replied as you rummaged through your things, “I’m going as fast as I can.” You pulled one of the paintings off the wall to reveal a safe. You opened it and grabbed wads of bundled cash, “This will help,” you said waving it to show Bucky before stuffing it in your backpack. He watched you move swiftly through your small apartment. “You finally make it to my place when I have to leave it,” you chucked to yourself to try to make your situation a little easier.

Bucky looked at you with a pained expression.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to,” you started.

“No,” he interrupted, “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said your name as he moved into the apartment to be next to you. He looked down at your face before placing a kiss on the top of your head. “Ready?”

“Ready,” you nodded. You lived in this little studio apartment for years now, ever since your mother passed away. You didn’t have the money to stay in the first apartment you moved in to, so you moved yourself into this small, furnished place. Which made it easier for you to leave it, since not much inside actually belonged to you. You lingered in the doorway to look over the tiny space once last time before you closed and locked the door.

You turned around and met Bucky’s eyes in the hallway. He ran his hand from your shoulder down your arm in a comforting manor before taking ahold of your hand. Before he led you down the hall, he placed a baseball cap that matched his own on your head to hide your face. Before you left the building, you took an envelope filled with money plus a note saying you moved out out of your bag and slid it under the door of the manager’s office.

Once you both stepped outside, Bucky went on high alert. He immediately got the feeling that you were being watched, and he put his arm around you. “We gotta move,” he said as he led you down the street.

“They here?” you asked. You tried to look up at him but he stopped you.

“Keep your head down, doll,” his voice was low, “Don’t let them see your face.”

You swallowed hard as you did as you were told. You stayed close to him as the two of you made your way briskly down the busy street. Bucky was thankful for the crowd to give you guys cover, but he knew as soon as they singled you out, there would be trouble. His goal was to find a way out before that happened.

The snipers were faster than Bucky thought, though, and a gunshot rang out from behind you. You shrieked and buried yourself in Bucky’s chest. He held you tight as he maneuvered both your bodies out of the line of fire as screams erupted around you. People ran for cover, not knowing what was going on as a few more shots pierced through the air.

“Dammit,” Bucky cursed under his breath. He turned around to face where the fire was coming from, shielding you with his body in the process. He peered from under his hat to pinpoint exactly where it originated. He raised his arm and fired a single shot, which knocked down the sniper.

He smirked to himself before he turned back to you, “You ok?”

You looked up at him and nodded.

“Come on,” he took your hand and led you on the move again, “We need to find a car and get out of the city.” Bucky took advantage of the commotion around you two and used it for cover. He couldn’t see how many snipers were out there and he got yourself lost in the crowd.

Without a word, you followed him. You still weren’t used to the gunfire, and especially after last night you were still very skittish about it. However, you were determined to make yourself stronger. You told yourself that you would be strong and brave in your new life.

Bucky turned a few corners to put some distance between yourselves and the commotion from the sniper attack. He knew the cops would show up soon and if you were anywhere close it would cause more problems for the pair of you. After a few turns, Bucky turned his attention to the cars parked along the side of the street. He settled on a dark blue hatchback, figuring it would be inconspicuous.

“Wait here,” he backed you into the shadows against a building before we went to break into the car. Once inside, he hotwired it to start before waving you to come over. You wasted no time and scurried into the passenger seat before he drove off, leaving all the commotion in the distance.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter, this fic is now the longest thing I've ever written! Thanks for all the comments and kudos everyone! This is a long chapter too!

“So, where should we go?” Bucky asked you once he drove you both out of the city.

“What?” his voice broke you out of your thoughts. The car ride so far had been quiet, both of you were too tense and too nervous to say anything. So many thoughts raced through your mind, all of them worst possible scenarios. Bucky appeared calmer, but only because he was able to hide his panic better. He made sure to never let you know when he was truly afraid, and the only thing that made him truly afraid was if anything were to happen to you.

“Where to?” he repeated, “We can go anywhere. Why don’t you pick?”

“Anywhere?” you echoed. You weren’t expecting Bucky to give you a choice on where to go. Honestly, you weren’t sure what to expect, but somehow it never crossed your mind that you had a choice.

Bucky glanced over at you and nodded, his eyes soft and sweet, “I’m sure there’s somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. I mean, it’s not like we’re on vacation or anything, but if it’ll help you, we can go wherever you like.”

You scrunched your face as you thought for a few moments, “New Orleans,” you said softly, “I’ve always wanted to go there.”

He smiled brightly at you, “New Orleans it is then, doll,” he turned down a highway to head south.

Silence took the car again, but this time it was a comfortable one. Bucky continued to drive as you looked out the window to take in all the new scenery. For most of your life, you never left New York City, so all this was completely new to you and so different.

You reached for the radio and scanned through the stations before landing on a pop station. Right as you turned it on, Cindi Lauper’s “Time After Time” started playing.

“Oh man, I love this song!” you perked up and started to sing along, “If you’re lost, you can look and you will find me! Time after time! If you fall I will catch you, I’ll be waiting! Time after time!” For those few minutes, you forgot that you were on the run from dangerous people as you went into your own little world. In that little world, all that existed was you, Bucky, and the song playing. Bucky kept looking over to you as he was completely captivated by your energy. He loved how you lit up while you sang, and how much passion you put into that song. He found himself thinking how beautiful you looked. Between that and the lyrics of the song you were singing, Bucky was completely mesmerized. It felt as if you were meant to sing that song for him. Bucky was never one to believe in things like fate before, but maybe it was time he started to.

When the song was over, you looked at Bucky and a blush reddened your cheeks. You giggled and hid your face in your hands, “What is it, Bucky?” you peaked out through your fingers.

A smile as bright as the sun lit up his face, “Nothing doll,” he said with a soft laugh. _I’m captivated by you._ Then his face dropped, “You’re taking all this better than I thought,” he added more solemnly.

You dropped your hands and let out a big sigh, “Yeah,” your eyes wandered a bit before handing on him, “I figure wallowing won’t help either of us, so I guess I’m trying to do by best.”

Bucky couldn’t think of anything to say for a few minutes. He regretted bring up the topic since it made the atmosphere in the car drop. “I’m sorry,” he said finally.

You answered him with a sympathetic smile. He always seemed to be apologizing to you.

“I made you leave New York,” Bucky added, “What about your dad’s wish and everything?”

A look of surprise crossed your face; you didn’t expect him to remember what you told him about your past and your family. “I buried dad’s ashes with my mom in the city so they’re still there,” sadness came over you as you realized you most likely wouldn’t go back to New York anytime soon. Everything happened so fast you didn’t even think about it until just now. “Besides,” you added with a more cheerful tone, “I think they’d want me to live my own life. And I choose to help you,” you smiled at Bucky. Your smile made his heart race and he reached out to hold your hand in his.

Even though you didn’t know him for long, there was something about him that you just couldn’t turn away from. Maybe it was his soft eyes, his pouty lips, his strong arms, or his charming personality. Maybe it was a bit of everything. You couldn’t deny that you were growing more and more fond of him, and you wondered if he felt the same about you as you looked down at your connected hands. After your night at the hotel last night, you really hoped so. But you were afraid to be the first to say something, so for now things were fine the way they were.

***

It took you a couple days to reach New Orleans. Bucky drove for most of the daytime and stopped at hotels at night to rest. When you were about halfway there, he abandoned the car from New York for a new one off a dealer’s lot to that the car couldn’t be traced. You even drove for a stretch of road to give him a break. Even though it had been years since you last drove, you were able to quickly reacclimate yourself, along with Bucky’s help and pointers. It felt good for you to relearn that skill though, and you wanted the practice to be more helpful to Bucky in the future.

When you arrived at your destination, it was everything you imagined New Orleans to be. You and Bucky walked hand in hand as you took in all the sights, sounds, and smells of the new city. The streets were full people having fun and carrying on, everything was colorful, music played out of several windows and along the sidewalks. This place felt so full of life and happiness. And that happiness was almost infectious as you felt your mood lift just from being around everything.

As you were so focused on everything around you, Bucky rarely looked away from you. He watched in admiration as your smile grew wider and brighter. Sure, this city was fun and lively, but nothing compared to the sight of your smile. You didn’t notice his gaze on you as you were too preoccupied with taking in the new sights. In a perfect world, this wouldn’t be a stop on the run from dangerous people, but a spontaneous romantic getaway. He squeezed your hand, which got your attention. As soon as you turned to him, Bucky cupped your face with his free hand and kissed you tenderly without any hesitation. You responded immediately and kissed him back, holding on to him arm as you did so. He pulled away and smiled at you.

***

You and Bucky settled in to your new settings rather quickly. He managed to find a small abandoned house in an isolated area of town and you found a job working at a local club. Your new house was surrounded by woods, and had been empty for some time. Locals must have even forgotten it was there, which made it the perfect place for you and Bucky to hide out. It wasn’t anything special: a small bungalow with one small bedroom, one bathroom, and a common area meant to be used as the kitchen and living space. Bucky was able to find used furniture for cheap while you cleaned up the place. It wasn’t much, but somehow it felt like home. For you, what made the small shack feel like home was the Bucky. And Bucky felt the same. Neither of you spoke this sentiment out loud, though.

“You’re so lucky I do what I do,” you joked one night while you and Bucky were leaving the club you worked at. Bucky tended to hang around most nights after you came home one night and told him some of the guys there made you feel uncomfortable. Even on nights he didn’t stay, he always made sure to be there when you got off so you didn’t go home alone.

“Oh yeah,” Bucky smirked as he put his arm around your shoulders, “Why’s that?”

“How else were you gonna make money on the road?” you said matter-of-factly, “This, I can do anywhere.”

To be honest, Bucky didn’t even think about that. He always figured he would just stay under the radar whenever he ended up. He could just take what he needed and that was it. He pretty much planned to live in the shadows. Until you came along and changed all that. You brought the light back in his life where there hadn’t been in a long while.

“You’re right, doll,” Bucky did enjoy when you got in a mood like this, “What would I do without you?” He meant it lightly, but there was a heavy feeling behind those words. With each day that passed, you became more and more special to him. He kissed the top of your head while you walked home.

“Even though,” you stopped to think, “Aren’t you supposed to be the money-maker? I mean, you’re the old man here, shouldn’t you be the sugar daddy?” you couldn’t help but laugh at your own joke.

You laugh made Bucky laugh in response, “I suppose you’re right, doll,” he kissed the top of your head before continuing your walk home.

Over the next couple months, you and Bucky developed a routine. During the day, he would teach you self-defense and how to fight. At night, you would work at the club to save up as much money as you could for when you would have to move on from the city. Sometimes, you took the day off and you and Bucky went into the city to explore. Those days were your favorite because you could pretend that everything was normal.

***

“Oh my God, Bucky!” you practically bounced through the door.

Bucky immediately went on alert, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” you started to calm him down before telling him your news, “They want me to be in the mardi gras parade!” you were beaming. You read a lot about the famous event in New Orleans and you loved all the costumes and visual aspects of mardi gras. It’s what drew you to this city so much. You never thought you’d get the chance not only to be in the city during the festival, but to actually be part of the parade.

Bucky said your name, “That’s amazing!” he lifted you up and spun you around before be put you down and wrapped his arms around you. He was genuinely happy for you. He also couldn’t help but imagine you in one of those beautiful outfits they wear; how stunning you’ll look. But, at the same time, a pang of sadness came over him. There was something that was always on the back of his mind, but he didn’t let you know. Bucky was always more on alert than you were. For now, though, he didn’t want to ruin your excitement. He and you will deal with it later when the time comes.

That day of mardi gras came before you and Bucky knew it. You left early in the day to go get ready. When Bucky asked if you wanted him to come with you, you told him no, only because you wanted to surprise him with your outfit. Bucky reluctantly agreed and waited out in the crowd for the parade to start.

He blended himself into the growing crowd, his cap hiding his face. Whenever he went out, he usually made sure no one ever got a good look at his face, and he usually made sure you did the same. You were usually less on alert, however, and Bucky allowed it only to make you feel more comfortable. When you two were out together, Bucky tended to act more like a body guard than anything else since he was always on the lookout for trouble. He was nervous about leaving you alone with this huge crowd, especially with all the noise and commotion, but he figured since you were on a float, you would be safer.

The parade started and people went wild. People danced to the music that filled the streets, drank from big party cups, threw and caught beads. It was a big, city-wide party. Bucky found a corner between buildings where not as many people were and watched over the crowd from the shadows. Under normal circumstances, Bucky would have been part of the party, he thought to himself how he would dance with you and enjoy the atmosphere. But things aren’t normal for Bucky, and for you. He couldn’t afford to let his guard down.

Bucky wanted each float pass by. Some were large and elaborate sculptures, others had lot of people dancing on them. Then he saw you. Even from a distance, Bucky easily picked you out of the crowd. And how incredible you looked too. You wore a sparkly purple and green bikini with colorful angel wings on your back and a feathered hi-low skirt. Bucky couldn’t help but drop his jaw in awe at how amazing you looked. To Bucky, looked at you was like looking at the moon because you were the bright that lit up his dark world.

As your float got closer, you were able to spot Bucky in the crowd. You laughed out loud at the sight of him standing there dumbfounded. You had never seen him look at you like that before, and it made you feel so special. Bucky usually tried to hide his emotions, but sometimes they came out. And when they did, they came out strongly. You met his eyes and winked at him when you were closer to him. You could almost see a slight blush across his face, which made you giggle. Before your float passed him, you blew him a kiss before turning to the other side of the street to give that crowd some attention.

After the parade was over, Bucky immediately went to find you. It wasn’t too hard for him, being an expert in finding people. Also, he made sure to trail along behind your float so that you were never far from him in case anything happened. He slipped through the crowd and made his way to you.

“Bucky!” you looked up to find him walking towards you. After you got off the float, you took the wings off since they were heavy and handed them to a helper.

Without a word, Bucky scooped you into his arms and kissed you passionately. You immediately responded by wrapping your arms around his shoulders and deepening the kiss.

“I know you were really into this, doll,” Bucky’s voice was low as he spoke into your ear, “But how about we get out of here,” he whispered all the ways he wanted to make you feel amazing.

His voice went right to your core as you bit your lip. You nodded as your face flushed. The way his man made you fell was unlike anything you ever experienced before. Not only did you have such a strong physical connection, but a deep emotional one as well. And the emotional connection only made the physical one stronger. Bucky took you by your waist and led you out of the crowd and back to your bungalow in the woods where he made quick work of his promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now I have a question for my readers: would you like another chapter of smut? Cause it seems I accidentally set up for more smut here, lol. So let me know, more smut yes or no


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask and ye shall receive!! Smut it is!!   
> This chapter is dedicated to Ethestrangest1, UnitedKingdomOrgy, marmar213, and Dawntreader99.

As soon as the door closed to your bungalow, Bucky’s lips were on yours in a needy kiss. He pushed you up against the door and pressed his body to yours; you could feel him growing hard already. You moaned into the kiss as you wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him even closer. Bucky pinned you against the door as his hands roamed around your body.

The feeling of his hands on your already exposed sides sent chills up your back. Bucky’s lips moved to your jawline as he kissed his way to your neck. Once he reached your neck, he bit down and sucked hard on the sensitive skin, which caused you to let out a loud moan. While he did that, his hands found their way down to your hips where he started to push your skirt down.

You offered no resistance and shimmed your hips to help him pull your skirt off. Bucky eyed you up and down, licking his lips as he did so. Before he could put his hands back on your waist, you tugged his shirt up to expose his ripped torso. With a smirk, Bucky pulled his shirt the rest of the way up and off over his head. You bit your lip as your hands traced the outline of his muscles. Since your first night together in that New York hotel, you and Bucky had slept together several times, yet you still couldn’t get used to how beautiful he looked without a shirt on.

“Like what you see, babydoll?” his voice was cocky; clearly, he enjoyed that way you looked at him.

“Not as much as you are,” you answered playfully as you tried to hide the blush that crossed your cheeks. He only ever called you ‘babydoll’ while you were intimate and it drove you mad with desire. Even though you were caught off guard with Bucky’s behavior, you weren’t complaining one bit. It was usually you that initiated things and took the lead, so to see Bucky more aggressive with you turned you on so much.

Bucky wasted no time with reclaiming your lips with his own in a feverish kiss. You eagerly kissed back, his tongue and yours dancing together in beautiful synchrony. His hands found their way to your hips and he lifted you up to pin you against the doorway. You gasped softly at the sudden action, which Bucky took advantage of to deepen the kiss. Your arms held onto his strong shoulders as your legs wrapped around his waist. He could feel how wet you were already as your bare pussy grinded against his still-clothed erection.

Without breaking the kiss, Bucky spun you around and walked you into the living room. He swallowed the moan you let out and held on to your hips tightly as he guided both your bodies to the couch in the middle of the room where he set you down. He broke the kiss to pull away and admire you; the way you sat with your legs open for him made his cock twitch. You gazed at him through half-lidded eyes as you breathed heavily.

You bit your lip as you watched Bucky position himself on his knees between your legs. He hoisted your legs up onto his shoulders and immediately leaned into your heat to place a soft kiss on your lips there. His softness didn’t last long, and he flicked his tongue on your clit, which caused you to let out a loud moan. Bucky smiled as he continued to work you with his tongue. He swired circles around your clit, darted his tongue in and out of you, sometimes kissed the skin on your thighs just to tease you. You dropped your head back and you moaned and cried in pleasure at his actions and you grabbed fistfuls of his brown hair.

The way his tongue moved against your sensitive spots drove you absolutely wild. You felt your whole body heating up as you panted and moaned underneath him. You held onto this hair tightly, tugging at it when he hit the perfect spot, which Bucky loved. He reached one hand under you to grab onto your ass as he feverishly ate you out. With the other hand, Bucky jerked himself off.

“Ahh… Bucky…” you called his name out between your cries of ecstasy.

Bucky paused to look at you. He took a moment to study you looked in that moment: flushed and sweaty but still so beautiful. Your eyes were glazed over and your chest rose up and down with your heavy breaths.

“What?” you whispered as you caressed his face.

He smiled sweetly at you before placing a kiss on the inside of your thigh, “You taste so good, babydoll,” he said in a gruff voice before attacking your clit again.

The sudden action made you cry out even louder as your head fell back against the couch. Bucky licked and sucked at you with hunger, your moans encouraging his every move. He repositioned himself so that he had both hands on your ass and held so tightly so that you couldn’t move too much.

“AHHH! Bucky! I’m so close!”

He sped up, determined to make you come, determined to hear the sweet sound of your orgasm. You pulled at his hair ever harder, which only made his own arousal grow. But he wanted to wait. Your pleasure came first. As Bucky worked you, your moans filled the room as your orgasm took you. Your legs shook as you cried out Bucky’s name. He sucked on your sensitive clit until you completely rode out your climax.

You collapsed back onto the couch with a heavy exhale. Bucky sat up slightly and watched you again as your chest rose and fell with each deep breath you took; your legs still rested on his shoulders. Once you caught your breath, you lifted your head back up to catch his eyes. His eyes that bore into your soul. Without a word, Bucky took his flesh hand to your face. You kissed the palm of his hand before he inserted a digit into your mouth. You eagerly sucked on it to thoroughly coat it in your saliva.

The feel of your tongue against his finger sent waves of pleasure though Bucky’s body. The way you worked his finger was unlike any sensation he ever felt before. You sucked on his fingers the same way you’ve sucked his cock before. Your tongue swirled around the tip before you took the entire thing into your mouth. Bucky couldn’t help but let out a groan of pleasure at your actions. He broke himself out of the trance you put him in and pulled his finger away to position it at your entrance.

“Bucky, wait,” your voice was soft.

He looked at you in concern, “What’s wrong, doll?”

You took his metal hand in yours, “I want you to use this hand today,” you brought it to your face and placed a loving kiss to his metal hand.

His heart pounded with worry, “No,” he said your name, “Absolutely not,” he didn’t trust himself not to hurt you if he used that hand. And he couldn’t bear it if that happened. He was always sure to be careful in general with you. His constant worry that he would lose control held him back whenever you slept together.

“Please, Bucky,” you pleaded, your eyes big as you pouted, “I trust you.” You had confidence in your eyes as you tried to reassure him. “Besides, you can be a little rougher with me. I’m not a piece of glass, you know.”

Bucky let out a big sigh. You were starting to become his weakness, and he couldn’t say no to you even if he wanted you, “Ok, babydoll,” he placed a kiss on your stomach, “But the second it hurts, you tell me. Ok?”

You grinned, “Promise.”

“And if I feel myself loosing control, I’m stopping,” he added more sternly.

You nodded in respond as he positioned his metal hand at your entrance. Very slowly, he started to slide one finger inside. You couldn’t help but let out a loud moan at the new feeling. His finger was hard and cold, which made for a shock against your hot and wet pussy. Bucky watched your face carefully for any sign of pain. When he didn’t see any, he pushed his finger the rest of the way into you.

“Bucky,” his name dripped from your lips.

Your eyes met his and Bucky could see the desire there. You gave him a nod to let him know you were ok. Feeling more confident, Bucky slowly pulled his metal finger out a little before pushing back in. His action made you moan and you let your head fall back against the couch again. Bucky picked up the pace slightly as he felt you tighten yourself around him. He had to admit that he liked feeling you this way, and he definitely loved how much you enjoyed this. He wrapped his other hand around his length and started to pump himself again.

This rhythm kept up for some time, with both your moans filling the small living room. You reached out to hold onto Bucky’s arms as he worked his metal finger in and out of you. Both of you moaned the other’s name as you rocked your hips to the rhythm Bucky set. He worked you faster and faster, his control starting to waver. Before he completely lost it, he stopped and pulled his finger out of out.

You whimpered as the sudden loss, but Bucky was fast. He pushed your legs off his shoulders, quickly dropped his pants, and spun you so that you laid fully on the length of the couch. Before you knew it, he was on top of you between your legs, positioned at your entrance. You looked up at him with half lidded eyes and swallowed hard. You were ready for him.

“You want rougher, babydoll?” his voice was rough and deep, and it sent a chill down your back.

“Yes Bucky. Please…”

Bucky didn’t give you a chance to finish your though before he slammed his length completely into you. You cried out, pleasure mixed with a little pain, but that was how you liked it. Bucky was usually so gentile with you, so to see a rougher side of him was everything you wanted, and it drove you mad with desire. He continued to pound into you mercilessly and you moaned and cried his name. You wrapped your arms around him and dug your nails into his back. He kissed and sucked at your neck, which only added to your ecstasy.  You could hear him chanting your name in your ear like a mantra.

“Oh God! Bucky!” you didn’t eve try to keep your voice down.

“I’m… I’m not gonna last long, doll.”

“Me either,” you screamed as he changed his angle slightly, “Please don’t stop!”

Bucky pulled out so that only his tip was still inside you before he slammed back into you, which made you cry out his name. It made him completely wild when you said his name like that, and he rewarded you by doing that again. After a few more thrusts, he found your sweet spot inside you, and it wouldn’t be long until you both came. You held each other as your climaxes quickly built up.

“I’m… I’m coming…” he moaned your name as his orgasm took him and he came inside you.

“Bucky! Ahh!” you came with him as two voices of climax filled the bungalow before he collapsed on top of you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was very self indulgent here, lol. I may go back and edit this chapter a little more so I'll make a note if I do. Thanks all as always for reading and for giving this fic some love!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to the story with a little action!

Bucky was up early the next morning, as usual. He sat up in our shared bed and studied your sleeping form for a few minutes. Your chest rose up and down in a soft rhythm and your breathing was heavy from sleep. He gently brushed a lock of hair off your face, careful not to wake you. Bucky had to admit to himself that he slept better with you next to him, even if he still didn’t actually spend much time asleep. He always made sure to be up early to scan for threats or changes in your surroundings.

The sun was just starting to rise in the sky, so Bucky decided to head into town before you woke up. Without a sound, he got himself out of bed, dressed and out the door. He couldn’t help this nagging feeling in the back of his head, and he wanted to get ahead of anything that could be lurking. Bucky was absolutely not about to have a repeat of the club in New York, not if he could help it.

The city was still rowdy with people still partying. Bucky had never seen anything like this place before; not even New York was this wild. He kept a low profile as he retraced his and your steps from the pervious day, and kept a lookout for anyone suspicious. Shop owners were out in front of their stores to set up for the day, coffee shops were just starting to brew the morning batches, and bars were still open from the night before and still serving drinks. Nothing was out of the ordinary so far as Bucky made his way down the main street. He stopped when a man setting stacks of newspapers and magazines at a kiosk caught his eye.

“Mind if I look through this?” Bucky asked the shopkeeper as he picked up a newspaper.

“Go ahead, pal,” he barely looked up from what he was doing.

Bucky flipped though the paper with yesterday’s date on it. It was full of mardi gras news and photos from the parade. He frowned when he came across a particular picture. It was what he was afraid of. Bucky reached into his pocket for some money and slammed it harder than he meant to on the counter.

“Keep the change,” he didn’t even pay attention to the shopkeeper or even to how much money he set on the counter. He had more important things on his mind. Bucky quickened his pace as he made his way back to the bungalow.

***

The sun was higher in the sky, so Bucky figured you may be up by now. It became a routine for the two of you in the morning: he would get up early and scope out the area, and you would be awake and making breakfast by the time he got back. He called out your name as he walked through the front door to your small home in the woods.

No response. The bungalow was quiet. Bucky went on alert as he silently crept through the living room. With no sign of you in the living room, he decided to check the bedroom. He stayed along the wall as he made his way around the perimeter of the space to the bedroom doorway. As soon as he entered the doorway, a fast-moving blur ran towards him out of the shadows. He responded instantaneously as he tacked the blur and pinned it against the wall.

“Bucky,” you gasped out under his grip as you tapped against the wall to get his attention.

His face softened as he realized it was just you and he immediately let you go, “You’re getting better, but you still move loud, doll,” he caressed your neck lightly, “Did I hurt you?”

“No, I’m fine,” you stretched your neck out, “Damn, I thought I had you this time,” you chucked.

A smile flashed over Bucky’s face but quickly faded, “Listen,” he said with a heavy sigh, “We gotta talk.”

Concern took over your face, “What is it?” you sat down on the bed.

He said nothing as he sat down next to you and pushed the newspaper into your lap. It was folded open to the photo that worried Bucky, so you saw it immediately. It was a picture of you in the parade from the day before. You were on the float, mid-dance, with a huge smile on your face.

“So, what does this mean?” you asked in a serious tone.

“It means we gotta get out of here,” Bucky couldn’t look at you when he said it, “Hydra has to have some sort of face reignition so they’re bound to find this.”

You let out a deep breath, “Ok, then we leave.” You knew this would happen sooner or later. You knew that wherever you were, you couldn’t stay for long. Sure, you were sad about leaving this city, but you trusted Bucky’s judgement.

“I’m sorry, doll,” he finally turned to you. You could see in his face that it was eating him up to tell you this. It reminded you of that night in the hotel in New York when he first told you this whole story.

“Don’t be,” you caressed Bucky’s face, “I got to have my fun here. I guess I screwed up though by letting my picture get taken like this, huh?” you tried to make a joke of it.

“It could be a worse picture,” he replied with a smile. He didn’t want to say it out loud, but Bucky was actually very grateful that you were here with him. You made everything seem better than it was, and he sometimes found himself forgetting how much danger you both could be in. He knew he was being selfish by thinking that, but he couldn’t help it. The more time he spent with you, the more you meant to him.

***

The highway was quiet as you drove a newly acquired car down the road. Bucky sat silently in the passenger seat, his guard still up even though you left the city over an hour ago. He had a gun in his lap, ready for anything. You said nothing and focused on the road, too nervous about breaking Bucky’s focus to speak. Most of your things were left behind at the bungalow; each of you only taking a backpack full of clothes and personal items. Before you left, Bucky cut out the photo of you from the newspaper and slipped it in his pocket.

Bucky’s eyes narrowed as he looked in the rear-view mirror, “Speed up, doll.”

You swallowed hard and did as he told you, “Everything ok?” you asked in a meek voice.

He didn’t answer for a moment and just kept his eyes locked on the rear-view mirror, “This car’s been trailing behind us for too long,” his voice was hushed as he clocked the gun in his hand, “Just keep driving, ok?” You had been the only car on the road for miles, and he had a bad feeling about this car trailing behind you.

“Ok,” your voice was a whisper. Your arms tensed up as you tried to focus on in front of you instead of behind you. You tried Bucky with your life, and in the time you spent with him you learned a lot about how to defend yourself, but that didn’t mean you still weren’t nervous in a situation like this.

The car sped up when you did, which made Bucky even more tense. It was a black car and as it got closer, Bucky could see that it had tinted windows. It was more and more suspicious, but he didn’t want to make the first move in case he was wrong. As the car got closer, the window rolled down slightly and something shiny stuck out.

Bucky was fast to react. Once he confirmed that the car was a threat, he immediately turned himself so that he was facing backwards and fired a shot from out of his window. It was a direct hit to the passenger side of the car behind you, which took out the gunman sitting there. He ignored your shriek for a moment to focus on the incoming threat before he glanced over quickly to check to make sure you were ok. He couldn’t tell how many others were in the car besides the driver, so he had to assume it was full. He didn’t want to lose focus until everyone was taken out. Without much delay, one more gun pointed out of the window of the other car from the back seat and another man popped up from the sunroof with a larger rifle.

“Shit,” Bucky cursed as he tried to think of a plan on the fly.

You tried to keep your composure as best you could, but you couldn’t help but shake in your seat. You swallowed hard as you hit the gas to try and put some distance between you and the assailant car behind you. “What do we do, Bucky?”

His eyes darted back and forth as he formulated his next move, “Try and weave around a bit, throw off their aim.”

“Ok,” you tried to hide your nerves. You still weren’t super confident in your driving skills, but right now you had no choice. If you and Bucky wanted to make it out alive, you had to just fake confidence. You spend up more and started to weave the car across the road.

It worked, with your car swerving around, the gunman’s aim was thrown off. Bucky used their hesitation to fire another shot which took out the man on the sunroof. The man in the back seat fired back, but missed when you veered to the right. Bucky smiled to himself, proud of how well you were doing right now. He kept his focus, however, and shot at the incoming car through the rear window.

The only one left in the car now was the driver, who had yet to produce a gun, but Bucky was ready for when he would. Clearly, the driver was not happy that Bucky took out the rest of his crew, and he floored it to catch up to you. You inhaled sharply as you saw the black car fast approaching in your rear-view mirror.

“Steady,” Bucky’s voice was calm, his gun ready. He watched the car pull up on yours like a hawk. He didn’t have a clear shot yet, and as much as he did not want to let the car get too close, it was exactly what he needed. “Just trust me,” he said your name so warmly.

“I trust you,” you didn’t even hesitate in your reply. You were stiff from nerves, but that didn’t change the fact that you honestly did trust the man sitting next to you. The car pulled up right next to you on your side, the window was rolled down so the driver could have a clear shot. Before he got the chance, though, Bucky reached his arm across you and fired. The bullet hit the driver in the head, killing him instantly and sent the car flying sideways off the road. You exhaled deeply once it was over.

“You ok?” Bucky rested his hand on your lap comfortingly.

“Yeah,” you took a few more shaky breaths to calm yourself, “I think that’s enough excitement for one day,” you added.

Neither of you said much for a while, both too tense about the attack to let your guards down. After several hours, the atmosphere in the car started to soften and you started a conversation again. You shared stories of your childhoods, and you were so happy for Bucky that he was able to remember more and more about his past. As the sun started to go down, you pulled over for gas and Bucky offered to drive during the night.

“Where were you heading, by the way?” he asked as he got himself settled in the driver’s seat.

A smile ghosted your face, “Florida,” you answered, melancholy in your voice. It was ironic how that was the direction you chose to go. You ended up doing the same thing Bucky did when you first met him: when you have no direction, go back home to what you know. It was a bittersweet feeling for you, since you hadn’t been there since you were a child.

Bucky reached across and took your hand in his, knocking you out of your thoughts. You met his eyes and could tell that he was thinking the exact same thing you were. It was a comforting feeling for you to have someone with a semi-similar story, and Bucky felt the same way. You found yourself thinking that maybe that was the reason you two ended up together. As you thought about going back to your first home, another thought came into your mind. It didn’t really matter where you were physically, as long as you were with Bucky, you felt home. This was the first time you really understood that home isn’t always a place, sometimes it was a person. Little did you know, Bucky felt the exact same way.


	12. Chapter 12

Your time in Florida was brief. After only a few weeks there, Bucky came to you one day and told you it was time to move on. As disappointed as you were, you understood. It felt nice to go back to your childhood home and reconnect with the place where you grew up. Bucky even surprised you one day with a trip to Disney, which you had to say was the best day of your life. Your favorite souvenir from that day was a strip of photos from a photo booth that you dragged Bucky into. Your tore the strip of four photos in half so you each had two: you kept the one where you made a silly face and the one with Bucky wearing Mickey ears, and Bucky kept the one of the two of you smiling and the one where you place a kiss on his cheek.

“So where do we go now?” you asked as you finished backing your backpack in the small hotel room that became your temporary home for the past several weeks.

Bucky sighed, “We have to get out of the country.”

You looked up in surprise, “What?”

“It’ll be harder for them to track us if we leave the country entirely.”

“Ok,” you let out a sigh, “so how exactly are we gonna do that? It’s not like we can take you through TSA with your arm, no offense. Plus, we don’t have passports.”

“Actually,” Bucky pulled two passports out of his bag, “I hade fake ones made for us already. Just in case.”

You took them from his hand and studied them. They were very convincing fakes; the photos were of each of you, but everything else was a lie, “Julianna and Clive Bixby?” you asked with a smirk.

He shrugged, “I just picked random name that would blend in.”

“Ok, that still doesn’t solve how we actually get you on the plane.”

“We’re not taking a civilian plane,” he said matter-of-factly.

“What?”

Bucky handed you a newspaper that had a story about a local military base on the front. There were a few photos of a new line of high-tech airplanes, curtesy of Stark Tech.

Your face dropped, “No. No, we are not stealing a military plane.”

***

“I can’t believe we stole a military plane.”

Bucky laughed from the piolet’s seat, “I told you we got this.”

You sighed and looked out the window as you fidgeted with your hands, “Still not a big fan of flying though,” you mumbled, more to yourself than to him.

“Even with me as your piolet?” he asked with a smirk.

You returned his smirk but didn’t say anything.

“Why don’t you go in the back and lay down? I’ll wake you up when we get there,” he offered. His hope was that you would just sleep while he flew so that your nerves wouldn’t get to you.

“Good idea,” you said with a yawn as you suddenly remembered how tired you were, “I guess I’m in good hands with you at the wheel,” you added as you rested your hand on his shoulder for a moment before you walked into the back and quickly fell asleep on a bunk there.

Bucky took the stolen plane to Morocco where he landed in an isolated desert area. He woke you up after he landed and the two of you made you way through the country to a seaside city off the coast of the Mediterranean. Bucky thought it wasn’t wise to stay too close to where the plane landed, so you boarded a ferry to Spain. Once in Spain, you two made you way up the countryside and ended up in the northern city of Barcelona.

Once there, Bucky decided there was enough distance and that you could stay in that city for a while. He was able to find a recently abandoned hotel that turned into a housing facility for people and the two of you got a room there. Being a big city, you had no trouble finding a club to work at to make some money while you stayed there. Just like in New Orleans, you and Bucky developed a similar routine- you would work at night and alternate training with Bucky and city sightseeing during the day.

“Hey Bucky, let’s go on a night out,” you said one day after being in the city for some time, “It’s been a long time since I took a night off.”

He smiled softly at you, “Sounds like a good plan to me.”

Barcelona at night was beautiful. The city same alive with lights and music and people out having fun. It was a very different atmosphere than any other city you and Bucky had been in, but you really liked it. Somehow, you felt at peace here. You walked through the city hand in hand with Bucky as you both took in the sights. People filled the bars and clubs and the smells of the different food places filled the air. You chose to bypass the crowded bars and led Bucky to the beach. The waves crashing in the darkness was soothing to both of you.

It was quieter out by the beach, the food stands and bars had a calmer atmosphere than downtown. You and Bucky sat on a bench and watched people go by. A chill in the air made you shiver and Bucky put his arm around your shoulder to pull you in close to him. The warmth from his body felt comforting and you leaned into his broad chest to feel his heartbeat. You sat in silence for a while and just enjoyed each other’s company. You couldn’t remember the last time you felt this at peace. It was like even though you were on the run from a dangerous organization and in a country you had never been in before, everything still felt ok somehow. You knew that was because of the man who had you in his arms. A rush of colder air blew over the beach, causing you to shiver.

“You ok, doll?” Bucky shifted to look down at you.

“Yeah, it’s just a little chillier at the beach than I thought,” you pulled your arms around yourself.

“How about a hot chocolate?” he offered, “The stand over there seems promising,” his smile was genuine.

You smiled back at him, “That sounds awesome.”

Bucky pulled his jacket off and placed it on your shoulders to keep you warm before he walked over to the stand. You watched him leave with a smile on your face before you pulled his jacket close to you. His smell still lingered on it and it was still warm. You started to let your mind drift off before a group of people clamoring down closer to the water caught your attention. The group looked like they were celebrating something as they all looked very excited about something.

In the middle of the group was a young couple, you guess in their early to mid twenties. The man led the woman by the hand to the middle of the group and close to a light from a nearby food stand. You saw his lips moving but you couldn’t hear what he said. After a few moments, he got down on one knee and produced a ring from his pocket and the group erupted with joy. The woman burst into tears as he cheerfully nodded her head ‘yes.’ You found yourself smiling, genuinely happy for them, yet at the same time, sadness filled you.

Would something like that be in your future? Did you have a future with Bucky? What even was your relationship with him? These questions filled your head as you lost yourself in thought. Your relationship with Bucky was something unspoken between you two. You continued to sleep together regularly, and you obviously cared a lot for each other. Did that mean you were together? From the outside, you two looked like a young couple on a whirlwind romantic getaway. Sometimes that’s how it felt, and it was nice to forget about being on the run. Hell, Bucky even made you guys married on their fake passports. Logically, you understood that a married couple travelling together drew less suspicion, but you found yourself wondering if there was another motive to his decision. You also knew that as long as Hydra was around, you and Bucky could never settle down, yet you found yourself wondering ‘what if.’

The sound of Bucky’s voice saying your name pulled you out of your thoughts, “Everything ok?” he asked as he handed you a warm cup of hot chocolate.

“Yeah,” you answered absentmindedly, “Just zoned out is all,” you took a sip, “This is really good.”

Bucky only smiled at you in response as you spent more time on the beach in quiet peace.

Your time in Barcelona didn’t last much longer after that night. You two left the city in the middle of the night one night and made your way out of the country by train. As you passed through Germany and the Alps, Bucky seemed to be more on edge. He told you about everything he would remember one night, and you couldn’t help but wonder what could be going through his mind to be so close to where everything happened. You took his hand in yours in an attempt to comfort him. He turned to you and gave you a weak smile, but his body seemed to relax a bit. Neither of you spoke much for most of the train ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Semi a transitional chapter, but that scene on the beach was one I had in my head for awhile so I'm glad I finally got to write it. And it's been peaceful for awhile, maybe it's time to shake things up.....


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I missed last Friday!!! Things were crazy with life last week and I didn't finish the chapter in time. But to make up for it, this chapter is extra long!!

You and Bucky took the train to a small town just outside Naples in Italy. As luck would have it, the mayor was selling houses for a cut-rate price, so the two of you bought a house under your fake names with the money you had saved up. The house was small and in desperate need of work, but you found it charming and cute. It was an old two-level house that didn’t have central heat, but it had a fireplace in the living room on the first level. The first level was completely open with a tiny kitchen area and living room area. It reminded you a bit of the little bungalow you had in New Orleans. The second level had a small bedroom, bathroom and a balcony with an outdoor sitting area.

It didn’t take you long to find a new club to work at in the city, and yet again you and Bucky settled into a routine. It became more familiar to you the more times you did it: you’d move, settle, find a job at a club, and Bucky made sure you kept up with your training just in case you ever needed to fend for yourself in a situation. Time passed before you realized and before you knew it, you and Bucky had been living in Italy for a few months.

“Man, Bucky, you wouldn’t believe how much money I’ve been making since we moved here,” you came home one day and dropped a completely full bag of cash on the table.

Bucky looked at the bag with wide eyes before he turned to you in shock.

You laughed, “I guess word got out that there’s an American working there and people came running. These Italians are hornier than the people in Barcelona!”

He joined your laughter as he watched you count your earnings.

“Hey,” you spoke up once you had all your cash in neat piles, “Some of the locals told me about this amazing homemade ice cream place in town. Why don’t we treat yourselves tomorrow?”

“That sounds wonderful,” Bucky replied with a sincere smile.

***

“I can’t believe we’ve lived in Italy for this long and have yet to have any gelato!” you exclaimed as you led Bucky into the small town.

Bucky held your hand and he trailed behind you with a big grin on his face. No matter what you had been through, Bucky was still amazed at your ability to stay positive and find the light in your situation. He’s had the thought before, but he couldn’t help but think to himself how lucky he was to have you with him through this. If things had been different, Bucky would have definitely asked you out and dated you properly. You didn’t notice his thumb brush over your enclosed hand.

The town outside the city where you and Bucky currently called home was small and picturesque. People mostly walked or rode small scooters to get to there they needed to go. The town was built along hills and trees, and most buildings had the most spectacular views. For the most part, you and Bucky kept to yourself, but you never refused when neighbors stopped by to greet you and give you gifts of freshly made pastas or pies.

After a short walk, you and Bucky found yourself in the town square. It was bright with the afternoon sun and people were bustling around the marketplace. Stands were open to sell their fresh baked goods and various clothing and trinkets. You and Bucky made your way through the vendors to the center of the market where all the food stands were. So many delicious smells filled the air and the whole area was full of life. Children played with ribbon toys and firecrackers, ladies sat in groups to gossip, couples flirted with each other.

“The people watching here is really something isn’t it?” you commented as you and Bucky found an empty table in the middle of the sitting area.

If Bucky was honest with himself, he couldn’t tell the difference between people watching in New York or New Orleans or Florida or Barcelona or here. The only thing that captured his attention was you. He was always on alert, and always scoping the area around you two for threats. But for the most part, he was always watching you. Bucky noticed little things about you, like how your nose crinkled when you were deep in thought and how you fiddled with your fingers when you were nervous. He noticed every little thing about you, and it just captivated him more and more. He told himself he would keep his feelings quiet, though, because he didn’t want to complicate things any more than they already were. For now, he would just be grateful you were by his side and enjoy these peaceful moments you had together.

“I’m gonna go get in line for ice cream,” your voice broke Bucky out of his thoughts, “You keep our table here saved, ok?”

“Yes ma’am,” he answered with a smile.

You returned his smile. It wasn’t often he spoke like that, but every time he did, you found it so adorable. “Any preference on flavor?”

“Surprise me,” his voice was playful, he also enjoyed your banter.

You smiled as you turned and made your way through the crowd. Bucky’s eyes never left your figure as he kept a close eye on you while you were away from him. His heightened senses made it easy for him to keep track of you, even in this overly crowded area. You slipped between people as you made your way to the gelato stand and bounced in anticipation as you waited in the long line. Bucky tried to hide a smirk as he watched you.

Suddenly, a crackle rang though the air as the sparklers the kids were playing with went crazy. The kids set too many off at once and the sudden rush sent the children screaming. The adults were quick to react and rush over to comfort their children and make sure no one was hurt. The panic swept through the crowd for a few moments and people dashed from where they were settled. Bucky stood from his seat and went on high alert, unsure of what exactly happened. His attention was momentarily turned to where the sound came from, ready to go on the attack if needed.

The wave of panic subsided in no time, and after a scan of the area, Bucky decided there was no immediate threat. He turned his gaze back to where you were in line.

Only you weren’t there.

Bucky stood as panic took ahold of him. He rushed over to where he last saw you and looked around frantically. He scanned every face around him and looked further into the crowd for your color hair. You were nowhere to be found. Bucky swallowed hard as his heart pounded in his chest. He tried to control his breathing and keep his demeanor calm as to not draw attention to himself.

He took a step forward to continue his search for you when a crunching sound took his attention. He looked down to see what he stepped on and immediately frowned. His foot covered part of the paper, but he could clearly make out the logo: Hydra’s.

 _No,_ his thoughts raced as he picked up the paper to read the note on the other side.

_If you want to see your girl alive, come to the abandoned factory at the edge of town at sundown._

“Dammit,” he cursed out loud as he crumped and threw the paper to the ground. _How could I be so careless?_ One split second of inattention and he jeopardized everything. Bucky couldn’t even bare to think of what they might do to you. _Fuck!_ His instincts took over as he rushed back to your little home to gather all the weapons he could. He tried to keep the worst-case scenario from playing in his head, but it was hard. What if he didn’t make it in time? What if they already hurt you? What if they killed you? And to make it worse, Bucky didn’t even get the chance to tell you…

The setting sun guided Bucky’s way to the edge of town. The abandoned factory sat all by itself, the orange glow of the sun highlighted its outline. He did not hesitate as he made his way inside to reach you. Logically, Bucky knew this was a trap but he didn’t care. As long as you were ok, nothing mattered. He’d figure something out. At that moment, all Bucky cared about was getting you back safe.

Bucky followed the corridors of the empty building to the center where a group of Hydra men were waiting for him. None of the men moved, but they were all poised to attack. Bucky said nothing as he faced the group. He counted only 10 men in front of him. Not too many, which meant more were hidden elsewhere in the building. You were also nowhere in sight. His hand gripped his gun, prepared to attack at a moment’s notice. Bucky was not going to be caught off guard again. He was ready.

Footsteps echoed down the hall in front of him, and Bucky could tell they were getting closer. Another group of men came through an open doorway and filled more of the large room. Bucky counted another 15. One of them dragged you along next to him, your hands bounds behind you with a zip tie and your mouth covered with a gag. You had bruises on your face and you were hunched over as if you had been punched in the gut. Bucky took a deep, shaky breath in to hide his feelings: a mix of rage and fear. He swore to himself that they would all pay for hurting you.

“Well, well, well,” a voice spoke up from the back of the crowd. A high-ranking Hydra officer made his way up through the men to face Bucky, “You are a hard man to get ahold of, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky scowled but said nothing.

“And you certainly didn’t make it easy to get to your woman either,” he taunted.

“Let her go,” Bucky finally spoke up, “Me for her, right? Well here I am, so let her go,” his voice was stern and deep.

The man paced, “We could,” he started before pausing for a moment, “But what if we gave you a partner?” he laughed darkly, “She would be a great candidate, since she gave us such a hard time to pin her down.”

“Fuck off!” Bucky’s voice rose as he tried to hide his panic. His eyes turned to meet yours. He could see the fear in your eyes and he could tell you were fighting back tears as you struggled against your bounds. “This is my deal,” he turned back to the leader, “Me for her. She goes free. Take it for leave it.”

You were watching this all unfold from the back of the room, unable to do anything. You desperately wanted to yell at Bucky for coming here, and you wanted to tell him to get out of here. Sure, you were terrified at the moment, but you knew how important getting away from Hydra was to Bucky. You didn’t want him to sacrifice his freedom, his life, for you. Your eyes darted around the room as you tried to think of something, anything, to stop Bucky from doing this. All the while, fidgeting your hands behind your back. You kept your movements small, though, to not draw attention.

Your eyes met Bucky’s again and you saw his face soften slightly. He gave you a hint of a smile and a nod as he tried to tell you everything would be ok. But you weren’t going to just accept that this was the solution. You didn’t have your voice or your hands, so you tried to talk to Bucky with your eyes. You shot your eyes back and forth between Bucky and the men in the room and hoped that he would understand you. He was subtler with his movements, but he followed your eyes. He locked back onto you one more time before he sprang into action.

As quick and swift as a gust of wind, Bucky pulled his guns up and started to fire. The Hydra agents reacted right away and scattered as they fired back. With this diversion, you also went into action. You lunged yourself to you side as you headbutted the man holding your arm. You broke yourself free of your bounds and immediately ripped the gag off your face. As Bucky fought the men in the front of the room, you took care of the ones in the back. You grabbed a gun off the man you pushed down and started to fire. You kept low to the ground to avoid any gunshots as you made your way through the large room to be by Bucky’s side.

Once the room exploded into commotion, Bucky went straight for the leader. He landed a few punches to his before he easily knocked him out with a fierce punch to the face with his metal arm. Bucky then picked his guns back up and shot at the scattering Hydra agents in the room, all the while making sure to cover your back and keep the men off of you. He couldn’t help but smirk to himself at how well you handled yourself here. You went for agent after agent without hesitation, and Bucky was thankful he had you train so hard while you were on the run.

Gunfire filled the space as the Hydra agents attacked you and Bucky. You ducked as Bucky returned fire. A man dove in front of you to block your path to Bucky, but you reacted before you realized and shot him square in the chest. You dashed across the floor to him right away. As soon as you reached him, Bucky pulled you in to his body and held you under his metal arm to act as a shield for you. You held your arm up and shot at the remaining Hydra agents from under your protector.

“You ok?” Bucky asked between shooting at his attackers.

“Much better now,” it was weird, as soon as you were back by Bucky’s side, you instantly did feel better. You felt calmer and safer, as if you instinctively knew you’d be ok as long as you were with him. With the chaos and fast action in the room, you didn’t let yourself react too much, and this was the first wave of emotion you felt since the gunfire started.

Bucky smirked before turning his focus back to the fight. The two of you fired shot after shot and took down the remaining Hydra agents. He kept his metal arm in front of you to keep you covered from stray bullets, and you covered Bucky’s back. You stood chest to chest so that neither of you had any exposed vulnerable spots. A few last well-aimed shots took out the straggling agents and the room finally fell quiet.

As soon as the last attacker fell, you let out a big sigh of relief and Bucky immediately hugged you tightly. You returned the hug and for a few moments, the two of you just held each other. You could feel Bucky’s heart pounding in his chest and you were sure yours was beating just as hard. Bucky was mumbling something in your ear, but it was hard for you to hear. You thought you made out the words ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again.

Bucky pulled away slightly to examine your face, “Are you ok?” he asked as he gently caressed your bruised face.

You nodded, “I’m fine Bucky,” you rested your hand on top of his, “It looks worse than it feels,” you tried to reassure him.

He said your name so sweetly, “I’m so sorry,” the pain in his voice was evident, “This is all my fault. I should have paid more attention. I…”

“Bucky,” you cut him off. You couldn’t stand to hear him tear himself apart like this, “It’s not your fault,” you moved to cup his face with both your hands, “I’m right here. I’m fine. We’re ok,” you smiled through tears to try and lighten the mood.

He smiled back at you, but you could still see the sadness and guilt in his eyes. He took a deep breath as he let your words sink in. “I don’t remember teaching you how to get out of a zip tie,” he finally spoke up after a minute and followed your lead in lightening the atmosphere.

You chuckled, “I’m a stripper from New York, remember? I knew how to get out of those before we even met.”

Bucky smiled brighter at you, a more genuine smile. He brushed your cheek with his thumb lovingly as he gazed into your eyes. After what happened, he couldn’t keep his feelings buried anymore. “Listen I..”

But just as Bucky started to speak, you noticed movement behind him. Bucky noticed too, but you were fast to react and cut off his thought, “Bucky look out!”

A gunshot rang out through the empty space aimed right at the middle of Bucky’s back. But you ducked under his arm and dove in front of him to block the bullet from reaching him. It hit you right in your shoulder and knocked you off your feet. You felt a white hot pain rip through you as you fell back against Bucky.

“NO!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry again!!! I know this is a mean cliffhanger but my overly dramatic side couldn't help it!!


	14. Chapter 14

Bucky couldn’t do anything as you jumped in front of him. You were facing the Hydra agent, so you saw him before Bucky did and reacted first. The bullet hit you in your shoulder and knocked you back against the man you just protected. It knocked the wind out of you, but you managed not to pass out. Bucky caught you and held you tight in his arm as he reached for his gun.

He fired back and hit the assailant right between his eyes. It killed him instantly, but Bucky felt rage coursing through his body and fired a few more times just to be sure. He scanned the room for a second to make sure everyone was actually dead before he turned his attention completely to you.

“No! No! No! No!” he shook with a mixture of rage and fear as he held you tightly.

Your breath was ragged, but you were still alive. Buck immediately put pressure on your wound to keep from bleeding out. You looked up at Bucky to meet his eyes, and you could see tears threating to form.

“We have to get you to a hospital,” Bucky’s voice was urgent.

You shook your head, “No,” you strained to get your words out through the pain, “No hospital.”

“Of course I’m taking you to the hospital! You need help!”

“No,” you protested, “I heard them say,” you stopped to take a breath, “They called for backup. They’re gonna have the town surrounded,” you took another pained breath, “At the hospital, we’d be sitting ducks.”

“I don’t care!” Bucky snapped, louder than he meant to, “I’ll figure it out!”

“Bucky, please,” even though the pain, you tried to give Bucky the face that you knew he couldn’t say no to, “You can sew me up yourself,” you tried to reason with him.

Bucky let out a big sigh. Deep down, he knew you were right. You would be a much easier target in the hospital surrounded by civilians and unable to move, but at that point Bucky didn’t care. He was willing to take the risk if it meant you made it out alive. Although, he knew how stubborn you were and you would do anything to protest and find another way. He ran over his options quickly in his head.

“Fine,” he agreed, “But you stay awake though this, ok? You pass out, I’m taking you,” this was Bucky’s compromise with you.

“Deal,” you said weakly before you dropped your head back to rest.

He set you down on the floor with your head in his lap. There was just enough light in the room so that he could take a look at your wound. It wasn’t pretty, but after looking at it, Bucky saw how lucky you were. The bullet missed any major organs and it didn’t look like it hit a major blood vessel. So, all he had to do was pull the bullet out and sew you up. Bucky decided he would do the first part here, then take you home to finish.

“Bite down on this,” he ordered as he pulled his jacket off and offered you the sleeve.

You barely had the energy to nod and you did as you were told. You took a deep breath as you prepared for the incoming pain. As stubborn as you knew you were being, it was all for Bucky. With your options, you would rather go through the pain here and push through it than be an easy target stuck in a hospital.

Bucky took a deep breath of his own before he dug into your shoulder with his metal fingers. You immediately let out a muffled scream at the searing pain it caused. He silently apologized to you as he reached the bullet lodged in your body. It didn’t take him long to find it and pull it out as he tried to work as fast as he could for your sake. Tears lined your face as you tried to catch your breath as soon as he pulled the bullet out of you.

“I’m so sorry,” Bucky tried to keep his voice level as he said your name, “The worst part is over.”

You managed to open your eyes to meet his once again. You should see the pain and guilt on his face. Not trusting your voice after your screams of pain, you mouthed an ‘I’m ok’ to him to reassure him. Bucky brushed his hand over your face in a comforting manor before he gently scooped you up in his arms. Neither of you spoke as Bucky rushed you home.

It was dark out, and Bucky moved swiftly through the night with you in his arms. Luckily since it was so late, there weren’t many people out, and those that were out weren’t paying any attention to the world around them. He got you back to your little house in record time and set you right down on the mattress on the floor that served as your shared bed. You could feel your body trying to drift into unconsciousness, but you fought it with everything you had.

“You ok?” Bucky checked in on you once he got you settled.

With your eyes half closed, you only nodded in response.

“Hey,” he grabbed your face so that you would look at him, “Stay with me,” the strong exterior Bucky built up was threatening to completely come apart.

“I’m here,” your voice was weak, but you still hung on. As much as you watched to wrap your arms around him, or at least reach out and take his hand, you didn’t have the strength. All you could do was give Bucky a reassuring look and a hint of a smile.

It helped Bucky feel slightly more at ease, and he quickly got to work to sew your wound closed. Your skin didn’t have that glow and brightness that it usually had, and he could tell that you had lost a lot of blood. But he pushed his worry down once more so that he could focus. You hissed at the feeling of the needle on your skin, but it was nothing like before. Once Bucky finished, he cleaned you up to make sure that spot wouldn’t get infected. He did all he could, and now all that was left was to wait.

“Can I pass out now?” you asked in between shallow breaths.

“Yeah,” he said your name, “Just rest now.”

The last thing you saw before you blacked out was Bucky’s face looking down at you.

***

When you woke up, the sun was high in the sky, the light shining brightly through your windows. It took you a few tries to keep your eyes open and adjust. Before you tried to sit up, you looked around the room. You were still in your bedroom of your little Italian home, tucked in with several sheets. At the end of the mattress, you saw Bucky sitting on the floor. He rested his head against the wall, but his eyes stayed open. You shifted yourself to try to sit up, which caught his attention. In a heartbeat, he was right next to you to help you up.

“Easy,” his voice was hoarse as he helped you sit up.

“How long was I out?” you asked as you rubbed your eyes and tried to stretch yourself out.

Bucky shrugged, “A couple days. I lost track.” He was honest with you, but held back the fact that he was only a few hours away from taking you to the hospital. You had spiked a fever while you slept, and it just broke that morning. “How do you feel?”

“Like I got hit by a bus,” you mumbled as you cradled your shoulder. You studied his face and noticed the large, dark bags under his eyes, “Have you slept at all?” you asked, your voice raspy.

Bucky stayed silent, but that told you your answer.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he snapped, sounding harsher than he meant to, “You should have just let the bullet hit me. I can take it better.”

“Bucky, if it would have hit you, you would have been worse off than I am. It looked like it was gonna hit you right in your spine or something! And then what were we gonna go?” you argued back.

“I woulda figured it out.”

“Yeah, ok,” you snipped back.

“You should have at least let me take you to the hospital!” he rose his voice in frustration.

“I don’t understand why you’re being such a hard ass about this, Bucky. I’m fine!” you yelled back with tears in your eyes.

“Because I love you!” he shouted back before he realized what he said.

You were stunned into silence and you sank back as you stared at Bucky with wide eyes.

He took a deep breath and spoke again in a softer voice, “I love you,” he said your name so sweetly just like he used to, “And I can’t lose you,” he couldn’t look at you. His secret he had kept for so long was finally out and he wasn’t sure how you would react.

“I love you too, Bucky,” your voice was just as sweet.

Bucky snapped his head up to look at you. He could see the sincerity in your eyes as you smiled at him though your tears. He shuffled over to sit right next to you and took your hand in his.

“You think I’d take a bullet for just anybody?” you added with a chuckle.

He returned your smile as he shifted to face you. Without a word, he cradled your cheek with his flesh hand and gently pulled you close to him. Tenderly, he kissed you. The kiss was soft, but you could feel the passion and love behind it. You pulled away to take a breath and gazed into his eyes. No matter how many times you looked into his beautiful steel-grey eyes, you never got tired of it.

“Why don’t you rest?” Bucky’s voice was comforting, “You need your strength.”

You only nodded in response and shifted to lay against Bucky’s strong chest. He wrapped his arms around you and re-positioned both of your bodies to lay back down. The sound of his steady heartbeat lulled you back to sleep. Once he knew you were sleep and ok, Bucky finally let himself drift off as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had that scene in my head for ages and I"m happy to finally have it written out. I'm not sure how many chapters exactly we've got left, but we are nearing the end of our story here so I just wanted to say thank you all for reading and supporting!!


	15. Chapter 15

“So, where are we off to now?” you asked as Bucky led you through the city. While you slept, Bucky packed both your bags to be ready as soon as you were strong enough to walk. He kept in the back of his mind what you said and it made him anxious to think about more Hydra agents around the city. But he did not want to risk making you move too much while you were still recovering.

“How about a cruise?” Bucky answered with a smile. He carried both of your bags so that you wouldn’t put too much strain on your injured shoulder. He kept his arm around you from the moment you left your little Italian house to help you. Even more than that, Bucky didn’t want you anywhere but his side to keep you safe. After everything that happened, he was more protective of you than ever.

You beamed up at him from under his protective embrace, “That sounds great!”

A cruise was a nice and efficient way to travel, especially in the Mediterranean. Bucky chose it because it would be easier on you as you recovered. You and Bucky sat on a bench on the top deck and watched the scenery go by. While you were enamored by the shorelines and beachside cities, Bucky couldn’t tear his gaze away from you. After his and your love confession a few nights ago, it was like he saw you in a whole new light.

He reached out with his flesh hand to brushed a lock of hair off your face, which made you turn to face him. His hand lingered on your cheek as you smiled softly at him. In the past few days, you noticed Bucky had become a lot more openly affectionate, not that you complained at all. If you had known he would be like this, you would have confessed your feelings to him a long time ago. But you were here now, so you told yourself you would savor this moment, and every moment you got with him. You bit your lip before you leaned closer to Bucky’s face and kissed him tenderly. Bucky smiled into the kiss as he took in every detail of the sweet moment.

The sun set as the ship reached its destination: a dock in northern Greece. From there, you and Bucky boarded a train headed for Bucharest, Romania. Once you arrived in your new city, Bucky took care of finding a place to live while you rested in a hotel room.

“Ok, you’re not allowed to go house hunting on your own anymore,” you joked light-heartedly as Bucky led you into your new apartment. It was an unfurnished studio with only a small living area and kitchen space with a tiny bathroom off to the side. The building was obviously older and not well maintained. He managed to find only a mattress and some shelving to fill the space.

“It’s safe and inconspicuous,” he retorted in a more serious tone, “That’s what’s important.”

You squeezed his hand, “I’m joking Bucky,” you leaned against his arm as you both stood in the middle of your new living space, “As long as I’m with you, it doesn’t matter. We’ll get through this,” you place a feather-light kiss on his arm, “We always do.”

Your words made Bucky smile and he placed an equally light kiss on the top of your head. He felt more reassured by what you said; he was still beating himself up for what happened to you in Italy. But Bucky decided you were right: as long as you were together, things would be ok.

It wasn’t long before you recovered enough to find a job at a club downtown and fell into the familiar routine from the cities you lived in before. Your shoulder still caused you pain when you moved too much and you had a scar there from the bullet wound, but you didn’t let anything stop you. The people at your new club weren’t as nice as those you worked with in the past, and they tried to bring you down about your scar. However, you just let their comments roll off your back and kept to yourself while you were at work.

Meanwhile, Bucky spent his time fortifying the apartment. He covered the windows with newspapers to block any views inside and hid weapons just in case anything happened. Nothing personal was kept out in plain sight save for the photo strip from the booth at Disney and a photo of you from Mardi Gras that Bucky cut out from a magazine that hung on the refrigerator. You insisted he was overeating, but it helped him feel less anxious about everything. Things were quiet for some time, and some days it even felt like the two of you were a regular everyday couple living in their first crappy apartment together.

Until the day everything changed and your’s and Bucky’s world turned upside down.

Bucky was out in the middle of the city one afternoon to browse the open market. You were at the club to work a double shift. Usually Bucky went with you, but since things had been calm lately you told him to go get some fresh air for a while. With his usual hoodie and baseball hat, Bucky quietly walked down the main street of the city. He stopped at a stand and picked up a few fresh plums and he found himself thinking how much you would enjoy that. A genuine smile flashed across his face as he paid and thanked the vendor.

Then he noticed something. A man behind a stand across the street looked at him with panic in his face. He scrambled away with his cell phone to his ear as Bucky made his way over to the stand. Confused, Bucky picked up a newspaper from the pile in front of him. As soon as he saw the photo on the front page, his confusion disappeared and was replaced with a scowl. The photo was of a bombing, several world leaders killed, and the suspect looked exactly like him.

 _Not good_ , Bucky thought as he swiftly ran though the crowd with his head down. He reached into his jacket pocket for his cell phone and dialed the only number programed in it.

“Hey babe,” your voice was chipper on the other end of the line. It was both comforting and nerve-wracking to Bucky. “I’m just about to get off. What’s up?”

“Listen to me,” Bucky spoke in a low voice as he tried to hide his panic, “I need you to stay there for now. Don’t leave the club until you hear from me, understand?”

The cheerfulness in your voice instantly vanished, “Bucky?” you voice was shaky, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” he took a deep breath, “But it’s not good.”

“Let me help you,” you insisted, “Whatever it is, lets get though it together. I…”

“No,” Bucky cut you off, “This is different.” He paused again as he reached the run-down apartment building the two of you currently called home, “I can’t have you getting hurt again,” he whispered your name so softly, “Just please. For once, listen to me and stay there.”

You exhaled to level yourself before you spoke. You rarely heard Bucky get like this, so you knew it was serious. “Ok,” you said in a hushed tone, “I trust you. Just come back to me, ok?” You tried to fight back tears. He never worried you like this before, and it frightened you to your core.

Bucky wanted nothing more than to say he would and that everything would be ok. But he wasn’t so sure about this. “I love you,” was all he could say as an answer. He hung up the phone before you could answer; he couldn’t hear your sobs and he needed to focus on the situation at hand. At least Bucky was sure you were safe, and that was the most important to him.

He made his way up to the apartment only to be surprised that someone was there already. And that someone was a person he hadn’t seen for a very long time: Steve. He stood in front of the refrigerator in his full Captain America uniform and he held a notebook that Bucky kept to write down his memories as they returned to him and the photos of you and Bucky.

“Do you know me?” he asked

“You’re Steve,” Bucky answered flatly as he tried to hide the fear in his eyes.

Steve chose not to push too much. Armed forces were closing in and right now his goal was to get his best friend out alive. “Listen, I know you’re nervous, but let me help you,” he took a tentative step towards the brunette.

“I wasn’t in Vienna. I don’t do that anymore,” Bucky knew exactly what he was here for, and why he had a target on him.

“The people that think you did are on their way,” Steve tried to sound calm but urgent, “And they won’t take you alive.”

“Smart.”

“This doesn’t have to end in a fight, Buck.”

He swallowed hard, “It always ends in a fight.”

Steve held up the photos in his hand, “Who is she?”

Bucky’s face shot up and looked his old friend in the eyes. He didn’t say anything, but Steve could see the panic in his face. Sam’s countdown in his ear only added to the tension in the room, and he knew it was running out to time to find a solution here. Both men could hear shuffling outside the window. In the split second before the armed forces crashed through into the apartment, Steve shoved the photos into his pocket for safekeeping.

Everything happened in a blur. Gunshots and explosions followed him with every step as he jumped and ran down the stairs and out of the window to the neighboring building. Then another man in a full black suit appeared and pursued him. Bucky just ran, not wanting to fight anyone. Gunfire and explosions trailed his every step. He ran down to the street where he snatched a motorcycle to try to escape that way. The whole time, Steve followed and tried to keep his pursuers off of him. All of his efforts failed, though, and they ended cornered just outside of a tunnel.

While this was happening, you sat alone at the bar where you worked. Your phone was in your hand as you anxiously waited for a call from Bucky to tell you everything was ok. With no word yet, you took another sip of your drink and let your eyes wander around the room. The music at the bar was loud, but they still had a TV on behind the bar with the news on. That’s when something on the screen caught your attention.

All you could see was flashing lights and explosions. You could tell that the police were following a pursuit of a fugitive, but couldn’t tell much about specific details. For some reason, you couldn’t tear your eyes away. Something in you was tell you to watch. You figured it out once you got a good look at who they were chasing.

You let out a loud gasp and almost knocked your drink over when you saw that it was your Bucky that they were after. You covered your hand with you mouth and tears came instantly to your eyes. Everything made sense now as to why he told you to stay there. You shook as you couldn’t keep yourself from crying, and you left the bar as fast as you could before anyone noticed.

As soon as you stepped out into the fresh air, you paused to take in a deep breath. You ran your shaky hand through your hair as you tried to calm yourself down. This was really bad. And you hated that you felt so helpless to do anything. Bucky was fighting this threat all on his own, and it ate you up inside. You took another deep breath as you rested your hand on your shoulder. A million thoughts raced through your head as you tried to figure out what to do. You traced your scar with your fingers as you stared down at the ground.

That is when you came to a resolve: you had to do something. You may not have the skills and fighting experience that Bucky had, but you’d be damned if you were just going to sit and watch. With one last deep exhale, you raised your head up and took off with 12% of a plan in your head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the gap in posts here!! Life has been crazy! I actually meant to post this last week but I forgot, so here it is! And we're nearing the end of the line here with this story. I'm guessing about 2 more chapters left. So thanks for keeping up with me here and for supporting my little work!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I aimed to have this posted last week, but life happened and I didn't get it finished. So to make up for the late post, this chapter is extra long!

“This is crazy! This is crazy! This is crazy!” you repeated the mantra to yourself from behind the wheel of your stolen car.

The plan you came up with was reckless at best. You knew you had to move fast or else risk losing Bucky completely, so you went with the first option that popped into your head. As soon as you saw the news broadcast, you darted down the street in search of an inconspicuous car. Your understanding of the language here wasn’t the best, but you could make out that they were going to move Bucky, and the large armored convoy made that clearer to you. Your plan was to steal a car and follow loosely behind. That way, you at least knew where they had him while you figured out your next move.

Your plan went off without a hitch so far. You dove down an empty side street near the club and hot wired a small black car. It didn’t take you long to find the convoy as it wasn’t hard to spot. You trailed further behind until it reached the highway, then you figured you were safer to follow a little more closely. You could make out several armored trucks, a handful of SUVs, and one extremely fortified vehicle. A wild guess told you that biggest one was where they had Bucky held. There was no way you would be able to get in there on your own.

Tears came to your eyes as you tried to push down the feeling of hopelessness. What could you do on your own against an entire army of specially trained agents and soldiers? If Bucky couldn’t even fight them off or outrun them, what chance did you have? Sure, you trained almost every day with the former Winter Solider for the past two years, but you still were just a candle compared to that roaring wildfire in front of you.

“No,” you told yourself. You shook your head in an attempt to push the doubt and negativity out of you. There is an answer here somewhere, you just needed some time to find it. Bucky risked his life and his freedom for you once. More than once, actually. Now it was your turn to do the same for him. As you drove in silence behind the threatening parade, you thought about how much he really meant to you. And you told yourself you would do anything for him; no price was too high.

The drive felt like forever. At least you had a good feeling that they weren’t suspicious of your little car behind them. There was something else you were grateful for: Bucky always insisted on keeping a packed backpack of necessities on each of you at all times. In your bag, you also kept a photo of you and Bucky.

After what felt like forever, it seemed like the convoy was finally reaching its destination. The cars and trucks started to disperse once it reached the city of Berlin, and the biggest armored truck went straight into a maximum-security base. Once you knew where it ended up, you drove your stolen car in the opposite direction and ditched it in a junkyard. Even with all the time to think and plan during the drive, you still came up with nothing. No idea on what to do next.

The first idea that came to your head was to steal a uniform and ID and impersonate an employee. But you saw how quickly that plan with unravel and how easily you could get caught. You studied the building that you saw them take Bucky into and knew that there was no way you could break in by yourself. A hand to hand fight would not end well for you either. A big sigh escaped your lips as you stared at the building from your hiding spot in a small shadowy alleyway. The only thing you managed to figure out was to steal a new car: a little blue classic bug which you currently were leaning against as you racked your brain.

“If only I could ninja my way to the roof,” you thought out loud as you noticed the helicopter on the roof. Your eyes followed the lines of the building down and landed on the little man-made pond in front of you. You could see a lot of people passing by each window, which told you the area was well protected. No surprise there, but it still frustrated you.

You chewed on the inside of your mouth, completely lost in thought, when a loud noise caught your attention. An alarm, which sounded like it came from the building you were currently trying to stare a hole into. You jumped to full attention as you strained to see what was going on. You couldn’t see a thing, only heard several loud noises. Gunfire, smashing, alarms, shouting, screams, yells.

“What the hell?” you stood up on your tiptoes as you tried to see what was going on without moving too far from your hiding spot. Your heart pounded in your chest as a million thoughts ran though your mind. “What’s going on?”

Then, the helicopter that sat on the roof started moving. You snapped your attention there and watched intensely. You rang your hands as nerves took you over, and you took a few steps to try to get a better view. The copter started to lift off when you saw a figure jump to it and grab ahold of the landing skid. With the distance, it was hard to see exactly, but you could tell that the figure was trying to hold the aircraft there and keep it from leaving. The figure held the helicopter there for several long moments before it went crashing back into the building.

You couldn’t help but gasp and jump in surprise at watching the scene unfold in front of you. Fire erupted from where it crashed. You covered your mouth with your hands and your shoulders tensed up when you saw two people fall from the roof. You only had a split second to see, but you knew that one of those figured was Bucky. The two splashed into the pond and you immediately ran over to them before you had time to think. You stood on the bank and nervously scanned the water. It didn’t take long for the two to emerge, and that’s when you finally could tell who the other person was: Steve Rogers, Captain America.

Seeing who it was with Bucky was both a relief and a stressor. You knew you could trust Steve, but you wondered why they appeared to be fighting and why Bucky tried to fly away. Answered to your questions could come later, though, because time was not on your side. Right now, the important thing was to get away to somewhere safe. Steve and Bucky’s heads bobbled in the water as the captain carried his unconscious friend’s weight on him.

You whistled to the blond to catch his attention. Steve looked up to see you, and he immediately recognized you as the girl from the pictures in Bucky’s apartment. Just as you made the instant decision to trust him, he decided to trust you and swam over towards you with Bucky on his shoulder. You helped him pull the unconscious Bucky out of the water and ushered him over to your little car.

 “You’re the girl from the photo,” he stated, “I’m Steve,” he introduced himself in a rush as you hurried out of sight. The pair of you sat Bucky in the backseat.

“I know,” you answered him in as pleasant a voice as you could and gave him your name with a weak smile.

Steve smiled back at you for a moment before a voice calling his name made him turn around. A man you’ve never seen before came running towards you which caused you to tense up. Captain America must have noticed out of the corner of his eye because he turned to you, “It’s ok, he’s with me.”

He caught up to where Steve and you stood and updated him on the situation that happened on the inside of the building. “They’re lookin’ for him already, Steve,” you could hear the urgency in his voice as his eyes darted between the two of you, “We gotta get outta here.”

You and Steve made eye contact and nodded to each other before the three of you piled into your car and drove away as fast as you could.

***

 “What the hell are you doing?!” you tried to stop Steve and Sam from restraining the unconscious brunette in the large vice, but he was too strong for you.

The captain sighed heavily, “Something happened,” he started.

The look on his face made you stop your protests. You never met the man before, but you’d seen his face in photos and videos. The face in front of you was nothing like what was presented in the news and media. It was if he was at a loss, hurt and confusion splayed plainly across his features. You dropped your shoulders as you let go of his arm and let him finish clamping the large machine down on Bucky’s metal arm.

“Steve…?” your voice was weak.

“We should talk,” he was blunt as he stood up to face you.

You only nodded in response as Steve glanced over to Sam, who stood watch quietly. “I’ll watch him,” he said as he crossed his arms.

“Thanks,” the blonde’s voice was barely audible as he led you out of the room. You followed him without a word into the dark, open space of the abandoned warehouse.

“So,” you let out a deep breath, “What happened?”

“Honestly, I don’t know,” he sounded so defeated, “They were interrogating him, then the power went out. And it was like,” he paused, “He snapped. Like he wasn’t himself.”

You clenched your jaw as you listened to Steve recount what happened inside the building while you were sitting on the outside figuring out your plan. You felt so helpless; there was nothing you could think of to help him.

“You know,” his voice broke you out of your thoughts, “This would have been easier if he just came to me for help,” Steve’s words seemed more like he was thinking out loud than pointing towards you.

You ran your hands through your hair as you sighed again, “I know. I tried, but he didn’t want to get you involved and I didn’t wanna push it.”

“So, you’ve been with him awhile then?” his tone was light, but you could tell he was very curious about your story.

“Yeah,” you breathed out. You told him the short version on your story and how you ended up here. Steve listened attentively without interrupting. It was an odd feeling for you to tell the story of two people who lived in secret for so long. But you could tell that he cared about Bucky too and your gut told you to trust him.

“Thank you,” was all he said once you were finished. His voice was soft and kind.

You looked up in surprise and meet his gaze, “For what?”

“For staying with him,” Steve answered, “For keeping an eye on him. For making sure he wasn’t alone,” a faint but genuine smile made his face light up.

“Of course,” you returned his smile as you cradled your shoulder, “He saved my life. More than once actually,” you added with half a laugh.

“Sounds like you saved his too,” he noticed the way you subconsciously grabbed your shoulder, but chose not to say anything about it. Instead, he stayed supportive and encouraging. You only just met the man, but you could tell he was a good friend to those he was close with.

His words felt like they took a weight off your shoulders, “I…”

“Hey Cap!” Sam’s voice called out from the other room, interrupting your thought.

Both of your faces dropped as you followed him back into the room where Sam watched over Bucky. The brunette stirred as he started to regain consciousness. He looked between the three faces staring at him before he spoke, “Steve,” you could barely hear him as he spoke your name after his.

“Bucky!” you tried to run to him, but Steve held you back.

“Wait,” his voice was stern as he held you still. He turned his gaze to Bucky, “Which Bucky am I talking to?”

You decided not to struggle as the three of you waited for him to answer.

Bucky looked down to the ground before he spoke, “Your mom’s name is Sarah,” he lifted his head and looked at the two of you, “You used to put newspapers in your shoes,” you could see a faint smile though the curtain of hair. Steve loosened his grip on you, but didn’t let go fully yet. Bucky turned his eyes to you before he added, “The song that you sang when we first left New York. If you’re lost, you can look and you will find me…”

“Time after time,” you whispered as you finished the spoken lyrics along with him. Tears came to your eyes, but this time they were happy tears. Your Bucky was back. He was here and he was ok. You didn’t notice, but Steve also had a glowing smile on his face as he had the same thought.

Sam cleared his through to get attention, “And just like that we’re supposed to be ok?”

Steve nodded to him as he finally let you go. Sam shrugged as he went along with the captain’s direction and the two of them freed Bucky from his confines. You didn’t talk much to Sam, but you could tell he trusted Steve without a doubt.

The two men backed up and allowed you to finally reach Bucky. You did not hesitate to pull him into your arms and hugged him tighter than you ever did before. He returned your embrace and held you tightly for a few moments before he pulled back. He cradled your face with his flesh hand as he kept his metal hand on your waist. Time seemed to stop as he scanned over every detail of your face.

“We need to talk,” Steve’s voice broke though the silence. Bucky looked up to his best friend and nodded. He sat back in his chair and you took a seat right next to him; you didn’t want to leave his side even for a moment.

“What did I do?” Bucky asked, his voice hoarse.

“Enough.”

He sighed heavily, “I knew this would happen,” Bucky dropped his head.

You stayed silent, but moved your hand to rest on Bucky’s knee.

He continued, “Everything Hydra put in me is still there,” frustration and defeat lined his voice, “And all he had to do was say the goddammed words.”

“What did he want?” the blonde asked.

Bucky took a few moments to think, to try and remember any detail before he blacked out. He remembered the face of the man who said he was the psychiatrist, “I don’t know who he was,” another pause as he darted his eyes around, “He asked about Siberia. About where I was kept.”

You felt your breath catch in your throat at his words. You never asked Bucky about what happened to him in the past. It was never a topic that you wanted to bring up because you knew how painful the memories were. This was the first time since when he told you the truth about who he was that Bucky spoke about his days as the winter soldier.

“Why?” Steve’s voice was firm. Time was of the essence and he needed information fast.

“Because I’m not the only winter soldier,” the brunette’s voice was flat as his eyes met Steve’s. You couldn’t help the gasp that escaped your lips. Steve and Sam were better about hiding their shock; their faces barely flinched. Bucky told his story about the Hydra death squad that was given the super soldier serum and the facility in the secluded part of the world. The other two men interjected with a question or two, but mostly stayed silent. No doubt they were already trying to plan their next move, you thought.

After Bucky told everything he knew, Sam crossed the room to speak with the captain, “You know, this would have been a lot easier a week ago.”

Steve glanced from him to Bucky to you, then back to his friend, “Tony…” he started.

“We can’t,” Sam cut him off before he could finish the thought, “Even if he believed us, I don’t think the accords would let him help.”

“So, we’re on our own then,” Steve said with a heavy voice.

“Maybe not,” he had a little pep in his voice, “I know a guy.”

The captain nodded, “Ok, let’s make some calls,” he then turned his attention to you and Bucky, “We gotta move soon. I’ll give you two a minute.” He turned to leave the room, but Sam stopped him.

“I overheard something,” he spoke to everyone in the room and all eyes were on him, “I heard one of the goones talking. He said they found evidence of a woman living in the apartment too,” he turned to you and all the color instantly drained from your face.

Steve exhaled deeply; he knew what that meant right away. Without another word, he and Sam turned to leave the room. Bucky clenched his jaw as he watched them walk away so the two of you could talk. Once you and Bucky were alone, he turned to you. His face was painted with sorrow and pain as he took your hand in his.

“Bucky,” you whispered his name, “This isn’t good, is it?”

He swallowed hard, “No, doll,” he rubbed his thumb over your hand.

“So, what do we do now?” was all you could ask, even though you had a million questions running through your mind.

“It’s too dangerous,” he ended his blunt statement with your name.

“What do you mean? Let me help you, Bucky,” you insisted as you tugged his arm. Deep down, you knew what he was saying, but you didn’t want to face that reality.

Bucky reached over to cradle your shoulder, “I can’t have you getting hurt again,” his voice was dangerously close to breaking, “Believe me, this is the last thing I want,” he swallowed hard and fought back a tear “Just… lay low for a while until we figure all this out.” He was able to hold himself together to get his words out; he was determined to be strong for you.

You took in a shaky breath, “I guess neither option is fun,” you spoke after a moment of silence, “But I do trust you, Bucky.” That was never a doubt in your mind, and Bucky always kept your best interest in mind the entire time you were together. If this was what he thought was best, you decided to listen to him. You met his eyes, and you could see how much this ate him up inside. “Just promise me one thing.”

“Anything,” he had no hesitation whatsoever.

“Just come back to me,” you moved your hands to cradle his face.

He smiled so sweetly at you, “Of course,” he leaned in to kiss you. It was a short kiss, but it was deep and passionate. It spoke all the unspoken words and feeling between the both of you. Bucky wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you against him. He only broke the kiss apart to hold you even tighter and he nestled his face in your neck. “I love you,” his voice was soft as he whispered your name in your ear.

“I love you too Bucky,” your voice was even softer as you squeezed him as tightly as you could.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda breezed over the Civil War scenes for the most part cause I didn’t feel like rewriting the movie here lol.

“You sure she’s gonna be ok on her own?” Steve asked his best friend as the three men watched you disappear from their line of sight.

Bucky let out a heavy sigh, “I don’t like this, but she’s safer this way,” he ran his hand through his hair.

“She learned from the best,” the blond tried to reassure Bucky as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

The winter solider gave him a faint smile as your outline completely disappeared in the distance. He made himself a silent promise that the first thing he’d do when this was all over was find you.

“We should get going,” Sam chimed in. He stayed silent until then to give the two friends a few moments, but now was the time to go. Steve and Bucky shared a quick glace before they all moved out.

***

“I don’t know if I’m worth all of this, Steve,” Bucky’s voice was low and lined with pain. They were able to escape in a jet with the help of Steve’s friends, but at a great cost. The guilt ate him up; he felt like it was his fault that his best friend had to fight his friends and former teammates. It wasn’t something to take lightly, but Steve did it without hesitation.

“All those things you did weren’t you, Bucky; it’s not your fault” he tried to sound reassuring in his answer. It wasn’t the first time Bucky heard words like that. You spent the last two years trying to tell him the exact same thing. And yet, Bucky still was not convinced.

“I know,” a pause, “But I did them.”

The two spent the rest of the flight in silence; neither had an idea of what to say next. Once they landed in the snow-covered, isolated area, they wasted no time gearing up for what lay ahead. Bucky kept a solemn look on his face as he grabbed guns and ammo from the weapons racks. The captain noticed and moved closer to his best friend to put a reassuring arm on his shoulder.

“When this is over,” he broke the silence, “You should take your girl to Coney Island. Win her a big bear or something,” Steve smiled genuinely as he reminded him of how things used to be. Back when times were simpler.

This brought a grin to Bucky’s face for the first time that day, “She’d like that,” he turned to him and returned the gesture.

“She seems like a great gal, Buck. Specially to put up with an old man like you,” he teased.

Bucky laughed, “She is,” he took a deep breath as he pictured your face, “She really is,” his voice drifted off again.

Suddenly, the captain remembered something, “Oh,” he reached into his pocket, “These are yours,” he handed the brunette the photos of you that he grabbed from the apartment.

Bucky’s breath caught in his throat, “Thank you,” his voice was barely audible as he took the pictures from his friend. He took a moment to study your smiling face before placing them securely in his pocket.

Steve pat his shoulder once more before he spoke, “Ready?”

“Ready,” Bucky nodded as they head out into the cold.

Everything went by in a blur and the two friends found themselves fighting with Tony Stark. Steve knew they were all being manipulated, but there was nothing he or Bucky could do to stop the iron man from attacking. Fueled by emotional rage, he was relentless, and stopped at nothing from going after Bucky. The fight was the hardest thing they went though, and ended with Bucky’s metal arm blown off, Tony’s suit all but destroyed, and Steve dropping his shield.

Steve carried Bucky out of the facility where they were met with T’challa. He braced himself in a defensive stance, but the Black Panther held his hands up to show he did not plan to attack. After a quick explanation on what happened outside while the three men fought, he offered sanctuary in his home county, which they accepted with great gratitude.

***

“White wolf! White wolf!” the children of Wakanda chanted as they ran playfully around the small hut there Bucky emerged from. He wasn’t sure how long he was out, but he could tell that whatever was in his head from Hydra was gone. For the first time in a very long time, Bucky felt free, completely free. The arm that Hydra gave him was gone, as was all the mind control codes in his head. There was no trace of Hydra on him anymore, and that was a feeling that Buck couldn’t even begin to describe.

Bucky stepped out into the sunlight and towards a familiar figure. He blinked a few times to adjust his eyes to the brightness before he took more steps into the open fields. The fresh air filled his lungs and the warm breeze played with his hair, which had grown longer during his time in the new country.

“How are you, Sargent Barnes?” the figure, Shuri, the princess of Wakanda, asked. She was the one responsible for breaking Hydra’s last hold on him, and for that, Bucky was eternally grateful.

“Better,” he responded once he got closer to her “And, called me Bucky.” He looked her directly in the eyes, “Thank you,” he added. Bucky felt like there was no way he could ever repay what she had done for him, but a gesture of thanks was a start.

She smiled brightly at him in response, “Come with me, there is something I was to show you.” She held her arm out to point Bucky in the direction of the river.

A confused look flashed across his face, but he followed her lead without a word. Shuri led him down the stream towards what looked like a cloaked figure in the distance. Bucky furrowed his brows, but chose to stay silent as he stayed a few steps behind the princess.

The figure must have heard them coming, because as they got closer, Bucky could see them start to turn around. He couldn’t see who it was at first, the person’s face was completely covered by a large hood. But, once they got within a few feet, a pair of hands emerged from the cloak to pull the hood back.

Bucky stopped dead in his tracks and you name escaped his lips in a whisper before he even realized. He turned to Shuri, “Thank you,” he repeated himself, only there was more to his words this time.

It was hard for her to keep that secret as she tried her best to conceal her smile until this moment, but she insisted to make this a big surprise to him, “I’ll give you two some time alone,” she beamed as bright as the sun as she spoke to both of you.

“Thank you Shuri,” you spoke in a soft voice to her before she turned to leave.

Bucky wasted no time in closing the distance between the two of you and immediately pulled you into a tight hug. He wrapped his arm across your waist and buried his face into your neck. You responded immediately as you enclosed your arms over his shoulders. You didn’t even care to hold back the happy tears that came to your eyes the second you saw him.

You pulled back only slightly, which caused Bucky to pick up his head. You moved one hand to his face and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

“How?” Bucky breathed, “When?”

“Not too long,” you answered, “Steve found me and brought me here.” You brushed a lock of hair off his face as you spoke.

“I’m glad you’re ok.”

“You too,” you moved so that your lips hovered over his, “I love you Bucky.”

“I love you too,” Bucky closed the gap and kiss you again passionately. After everything the pair of you had been though, it was a comforting thought to know that you were someplace safe, and that you could live quietly and peacefully without the fear of being found at any moment. He was sure at that some point in the future, he would be needed again, for another fight. It was the way of his life, Bucky knew. But at least for now, he could have time with you. And for that, he was happy.

In the distance, you could hear the children chanting: “White wolf! Nightingale! White wolf! Nightingale!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s the end of our story here! Thank you for reading and supporting me on this fic, especially to those who left comments and kudos!!! I really appreciate it!! I may open up Drabble and one shot requests over at my tumblr soon so go check me out there if you have any requests and look out for the request list soon! My writing tumblr is the same handle as here, FlightlessAngelWings :)


End file.
